Is it normal to be this way after being stalked?

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13 Comments

I was stalked (and am now being cyberstalked) by an ex-boyfriend since May of this year. He broke into my apartment three times and physically assaulted me once after tailing me across my college campus. Since then, he has fled the state. However, the paranoia that he brought out in me stayed behind. I can only sleep with a teddy bear and a night light (I'm 20), my diet is very poor, and I constantly feel like reverting back to being a child.
I compulsively check all closets and underneath all beds when I enter a room and in the shower and underneath the sink every time I use a bathroom. Open and/or unlocked windows and doors deeply upset me, and I check the backseat and trunk of my car before driving. Every noise I hear that I cannot identify puts me on edge.
I'm currently seeking out help for this but I want to know if this is a typical reaction to stalking.

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93% Normal
Based on 30 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • modernism
    8 years ago

    Being stalked can cause people to become constantly fearful, so your reaction is not necessarily healthy, but normal.

    I'm sorry about your situation, and I hope you're able to get a restraining order on this guy. Even though he's in another state, this would help keeping him from contacting you online and give you a sense of security. Therapy will probably help with your paranoia too.

    Good luck. :)

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    aw :c

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  • fordmustang
    8 years ago

    I say that if u see that douche ever again. Hit him in the balls with a steel baseball bat

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  • jethro
    8 years ago

    Samuel Colt developed the remedy for your problem. They called it the great equalizer. Get one and introduce your stalker to "your little friend" 6 or 8 times the next time he barges into your home uninvited.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    Sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, for which you really need to find a good therapist. It will pass eventually, but hyper vigilance is one of the most common symptoms.

    How is he managing to cyber stalk you if you close all current accounts and block him on social media? Sorry if they aren't the right terms, I'm a bit technologically challenged.

    Stalking is a criminal offence: are the police helping you?

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    • Thomas1994
      8 years ago

      I do block him when he comes up. But he becomes even more clever every time I do. For example, he just catfished me on facebook (which I need open for school purposes). That means that he created a fake account posing as somebody I know and having communication with me not knowing its him.

      There has been a final protective order in effect for him since April 26 of this year. However, the police here are less than helpful, I think because I'm gay. After he started texting me before I changed my number, they said they can't do anything since its electronic and I can't prove that it was him contacting me and also because he was contacting me from another state. So yeah, I'm pretty much on my own. The final order didn't mean shit unless he shows up in person.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        Where are you? In Australia it's an offence to use the phone lines in that way. The interstate thing is a problem here too and there are moves to have intervention orders registered nationally.

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        • Thomas1994
          8 years ago

          I'm in America. Woo hoo.

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  • ______________
    8 years ago

    That sucks balls. I can imagine living alone to be a bit scary for some, let alone after being stalked and assaulted.
    But he's in a different state - you shouldn't be so afraid. A quick tip - put some music on to ease the silence and take out the small noises, as well as giving an overall better atmosphere.
    Speak to a counsellor or a therapist, and in the long run if this affects you for an extended period of time - quietly move to a different state if you can, or look for a boyfriend you could live with because you would undoubtedly feel safer living with someone you trust.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      You can't just tell someone they shouldn't be so afraid

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Wait a minute. You are a guy? And you didn't at some point beat the crap out of this asshole? You couldn't have taken a base ball bat to his balls?
    If he's in your abode without your permission, you have every right to get busy with a little whoop ass on him. Really, stand up to this asshole and put the fear of gawd into him, if he ever comes near you again.

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    • Thomas1994
      8 years ago

      Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I'm big and brawny and capable of beating someone up. I'm not. I had a baseball bat at the time of the home invasion, but it is a strange feeling when a person begs you to kill them, which is what he did.

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        Even a tiny girl of 5'00" can take a self defense class. You don't need to be big and brawny to defend yourself. It's all in your head.
        Nobody said anything about killing, but there's no harm in defending yourself, and stopping a maniac from ruling your life.

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