Is it normal to be torn inside?

I was destined for greater things. I could have achieved anything, the doors were open to me. But I fucked up. Sports club? Coach beaten up. Work? Fired after a few months for impulsive behaviour.

I live off others and don't like doing it, but there's no other way at the moment. Sometimes I just sit there, drink a beer and think about everything.

From that moment on, all the conflicts in me come to the fore and drag me down. It feels like drowning. I can't breathe any more. So much guilt. So much screwed up.