Is it normal to enjoy this sensation ?

I have to take a massive DUMP right now . I am home alone while my partner is at work and so i have the freedom of peace and privacy . I love to hold it in as long as i possibly can without getting too carried away and risk any unhealthy damage inside . I like to let it build up into a thick shit DILDO until it completely fills up my shit pipe with excrement . I can feel the waste pushing up in my pipe forming a thick shit cock within me . It pushes up inside me and feels like i am getting fucked by myself even though i am straight and have never had anal . I for some reason like the sensation of this though and i find it odd .

I don't even like talking about this stuff or acknowledging it in real life . If someone mentions the word fart - shit etc. IRL i just pretend i didn't hear it . I pretend no one does it but since i am online its easy to hide behind this anonymous identity . It gets to the point where it starts pushing down towards my shit hole and edging itself to want me to go use the LOO . I feel it rimming my shit hole over and over for 20 - 30 minutes before i actually sit down and do the deed . When i do finally sit , i still pro long the process and let is happen as gradually as possible until i feel my entire body tense up and force the load out . I become a human dump truck unloading useless waste from my shit tube .

I like the most when it becomes so intense that a single tear or a couple pinch out from the corner of my eye and rolls down my cheeks . Thats when i know i have had a really good DUMP session . I am curious now .. is this normal ? does anyone else do this ? is there a way to make my DUMPs massive intentionally ? What do you think about this behaviour?

I will have to go empty my shit can now but i will be back to read responses later! hopefully some good ones.