Is it normal to fear being a virgin when im 18? & to envy my friend's relationship?

25% Normal
25 Comments

So basically, me and my friends are 18 year olds, my mate got a gf and he is really happy with her, they are barely a month together and they already had sex. I started being really jealous of him for doing that and for not being anxious to lose his virginity. The last relationships I had broke down because I wanted to have sex with the other party, yet they weren't into it and felt bad that I insisted on having it with them. I have a feeling that if I looked better, they wouldn't have said the same. The average age for losing one's virginity is 17.5, and I already passed it, I barely know how to hit on someone and I am afraid that I will die a virgin. Is it normal?

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25% Normal
Based on 4 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • SkullsNRoses
    1 year ago

    Forget the “average age”, it’s not a race, the time will come.

    I also highly suspect that the majority of people have their first sexual experience a little later than 17.5, especially more introverted men, there is just a (pointless) taboo of admitting to being sexually inexperienced as an adult.

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    • bbrown95
      1 year ago

      Agreed with this, all the way! It's not a race or a competition, and it's something that should be done when you and the person you're going to do it with personally feel ready. I don't believe it's something that should just be "gotten over with" the way many people do. I also completely believe that most people experience their first sexual encounter later than 17.5, but they typically aren't vocal about it due to the ridiculous stigma attached to losing your virginity at a later age, and may even lie about it to avoid being judged, since young people can be very nosy and judgmental about it (that was definitely my experience in high school and college, anyway; my peers were obsessed with who had lost their virginity and who hadn't, and unfortunately heavily pressured those who hadn't, though it was none of their business anyway).

      There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age, and having sex has no impact on one's worth, nor desirability or attractiveness (as there are many people who have sex simply just to have sex, with whoever happens to be available, and not because they think highly of the other person, and on the opposite side of that coin, there are a million perfectly valid reasons someone could be sexually inexperienced despite wanting those experiences). So OP, there's nothing wrong with the fact that you haven't had the same experiences as your friend yet, and you're no less of a person for it!

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      • SkullsNRoses
        1 year ago

        ^ Perfectly worded.

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        • bbrown95
          1 year ago

          Thank you! :)

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    • Large_Salad
      1 year ago

      Aight, thanks

      I am not even an introvert, I just hate myself lol

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      • SkullsNRoses
        1 year ago

        I got that impression from how you assumed she rejected you because of your appearance, when it’s more likely that she just wasn’t ready or wanted her first time to be with someone she’s in love with.

        What makes you hate yourself so much?

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  • baldboy
    1 year ago

    Hey dude, don't worry about it. I made a post simular to your situation and I was basically told that it's okay to be a virgin at your age. It's easy for people our age to fall into peer pressure because society makes losing your virginity a race, especially when you're young. Sex is a very special and should be treated as such. The most closest way of intamacy. Your time will come soon, trust! Just don't rush it, I heard it's a regret for many. And hey, I'm 19 and still have mine. It's nothing I'm ashamed of or anyone should be.

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  • Grunewald
    1 year ago

    I know the feeling. I haven't given in to it. I don't want to do something I'll regret.

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  • LloydAsher
    1 year ago

    I rushed to lose my virginity at 17 (I was a loser shut up) completely sucked. It was only in my 20s did I appreciate and have the social skills to aquire good partners.

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  • jethro
    1 year ago

    Try dating a girl next time. You might get lucky. Or go seek the services of a hooker.

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    • Large_Salad
      1 year ago

      I dated 2 girls already. Prostitution in my country is sadly illegal.

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      • jethro
        1 year ago

        Prostitution is illegal in most countries, but then so are drugs but that does not stop the activity. I guess you are going to remain a virgin until you die. I tried to help you but you have lame excuses. C'est la vie

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  • RoseIsabella
    1 year ago

    Get a grip, man!

    There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, being pushy is a great way to chase people away.

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  • Tommythecaty
    1 year ago

    It’s fine.

    Ten years later you will see most everything you thought at eighteen to be irrelevant and stupid.

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  • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
    1 year ago

    Lost mine at 20, found it quite boring & never had it since unless you count oral.

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  • dabadedabadie
    1 year ago

    Lower your standards. Not everyone fucks a super model fuck a slightly chubby chick if you need to they need love too.

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    • Large_Salad
      1 year ago

      My standards aren't high though? IDK what do you mean.

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      • dabadedabadie
        1 year ago

        don't worry man there is a lid for every pot

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        • Large_Salad
          1 year ago

          I feel like I am not a pot, I am a kettle or something. J really want to go to a hooker, yet I am scared about getting entangled in underworld stuff... IDK man. Sometimes genetics fuck you over.

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          • dabadedabadie
            1 year ago

            Hookers are filthy stay away just fuck a desperate chick with low standards or something

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            • LloydAsher
              1 year ago

              I can agree with that as that was my primary target when I was upgrading my game.

              Less chance of an std, and you are giving someone else the confidence that someone wants to fuck them.

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          • LloydAsher
            1 year ago

            "Underworld stuff" it's not a movie it's just a crappy buisness transaction.

            Give money, get sex, (get std), possibly get robbed by the pimp or hooker.

            As long as you arnt dolling out drugs to said hookers you will be fine (not from any experience but did know less than moral friends)

            Just like badie said get yourself a down on their luck person to sleep with you. It's cheaper.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    Dont let yourself become a hater. Its easy to think to yourself why do girls go for those guys theyre shorter than me and uglier etc. But thats just cancerous dont even open that door. Itll only hold you back.

    You'll get laid. Just keep going out. Put yourself in a position where theres women to meet.

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    • Large_Salad
      1 year ago

      I put myself though, I have accounts on the leading dating apps, I barely eat to make sure I don't become fatter, I still am unsuccessful. Am I the problem? Is it my face? I don't really have a nice jawline and my wrists are rather slim, but so are my friends' and he had more success than me. So IDK what am I doing wrong and that disturbs me , I'll probably die alone, maybe it's best if I just end this BS now

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        1 year ago

        Its hard to say without meeting you. I can tell you you dont want to spew insecurities like this for example around women. You want to come off as emotionally stable. But I cant say without knowing you.

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