Is it normal to feel like you can’t love again

100% Normal
12 Comments

So I got out of a relationship a few months ago where I got cheated on and I have felt less heartbroken about the subject then just utterly empty. For some backstory, me and this girl started dating in this small town and she’s always wanted to see the bigger world. We then make the decision to move back to my home state where there’s a lot of big city’s and experiences. But about 8 months of living out here she cheats on me which was a total curveball but I guess new situations can affect somebody majorly like that and I can understand that.

Now this wasn’t the first time I’ve been cheated on, actually has happened many times in my long relationships of the past, but this one just left me empty. I figured I would groove out of those emotions but this happened back in august and I’m still just detached from feeling attraction or love. I still get lustfull but I feel that’s more my “male instincts” than my actual self. I’ve also came to questioning if I just lost attraction to girls. I don’t think I like guys and being in my mid 20s seems weird to me to be questioning those things. I think I want to be with a girl one day but I just have such a bad history with all my girlfriends that it makes it hard to trust that again.

Is it normal to just be this lost at what I’m looking for and being this shell of a person for this long?

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100% Normal
Based on 6 votes
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Chudders
    10 months ago

    Yes.

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  • taebby22
    10 months ago

    It's very normal to feel that way. I thought life was over once when I was dumped, it was awful. I actually went years without even finding another man attractive, I needed therapy. But eventually more time passed and I'm still here. But that still ruined me because I have no interest in dating (I have not dated or seen a single person since I was dumped), and will never be married or have a family. It broke all my trust. But it's fucking sad though because he moved on real fast, and I'm the loser now.

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    • MalicAcidInMyEyes
      10 months ago

      I apologize for your circumstances as I would hope that this situation wouldn’t have been one I shared with others. I relate to you a lot all though it hasn’t been years for me, I can’t imagine feeling open to a family anymore or dating in general. Some days I wish I could have the comfort of a companion but others just make it seem not worth it to try and trust again to only be hurt in the end. I hope through time you can find happiness and comfort in yourself to open back up, as I wish only the same for myself.

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  • MalicAcidInMyEyes
    10 months ago

    Thank you for taking your time to make a full reply to this. It really helps more than I even initially thought it would to settle my thoughts and worries around the topic. It has been too vulnerable of a place for me to be able to approach the people around me, as I’m pretty much just a loner these days. But this has brought me comfort inside my own mind and for that I say thank you, truly

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    • notmyrealname123
      10 months ago

      "vulnerable of a place"?
      can you define that?

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      • MalicAcidInMyEyes
        10 months ago

        Like I feel too open expressing my emotions and possible sexuality questions to the people around me. Makes me feel exposed and vulnerable and i don’t have anybody to trust that too at this point in my life.

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  • Tommythecaty
    10 months ago

    Lustful? Male instincts?

    You sir, have a gross way of speaking about fucking.

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    • MalicAcidInMyEyes
      10 months ago

      Well I wouldn’t even say I was talking directly about fucking but just physical touch. From kissing to sex, annything in between, and I also don’t. I don’t really like to partake in just random LUSTFUL activities unless I have a serious connection with a person, which as explained, I don’t think I can make anymore. Plus I find it very crude to just be like “sometimes I want to fuck” when I’m out here trying to ask about my emotions and shit

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      • Tommythecaty
        10 months ago

        Filthy.

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  • newnormal
    10 months ago

    Bro, I have been cheated on, and I have also cheated on my girlfriends. The only thing you can do is to get back on that horse and ride like you're crazy. Bang every girl you see and have no regrets. That's how I get over a relationship.

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    • MalicAcidInMyEyes
      10 months ago

      I think stating that you have cheated on your girlfriends is reason enough to distance my situation from yours as that just doesn’t appeal to me nor apply to me. I want a love connection, not to just get my dick wet. Thank you for your approach to connecting to my post none the less

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      • newnormal
        10 months ago

        Listen, if you're wondering why you may not be successful in relationships, it could be because you're not assertive enough. It's important to be a confident and strong partner, and to take the lead in the relationship. When you act in a passive or submissive manner, you may unintentionally be sending the wrong message and making yourself vulnerable to mistreatment. So, it's important to be confident and assertive, as women respond to confidence. If you as in your own words "want a love connection" and act like a pussy around women they will treat you the same. I know you may love her however, do not show too much love as she would take it for granted. I'm saying this with countless experience. If you treat her with too much care she will look for an asshole who is going to treat her like shit. Women think differently, they will never feel bad for you if they don't want to. They will use you and lie to you as if nothing happened. Believe me when i say this to you, you will never find out a woman's lies unless you catch her in the act.

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