Is it normal to find all these things very hard

I dont understand the purpose of asking "how are you?" to someone who constantly shares how they're doing on their own accord. My mother for example talks constantly about her ailments and mentions it all the time how she's feeling, yet sometimes she'll comment on me never asking her how she's doing. I suppose it's a sort of social rule that you have to ask that, but I don't understand why. If I don't feel well I say so, I dont wait for someone to ask. Overall though I never share how I feel, not positive or negative emotions, so even when someone asks I tend to not respond or just say "I dont know" because I genuienly do not know what my mental state is 99% of the time.
I tend to remind myself to ask a friend when I see them "how are you today?" because I see friends so rarely, however they always say "i'm good" even if an hour later they go "i'm doing horrible today" which means they initially lied when saying they were good. That is odd.
Ive recently made a friend for once who isnt an internet friend but a real life friend, and as great as it is it's also highly stressful. When my new friend confides in me about negative emotions, or even very happy ones, I do not know how to make myself react. I am not comfortable displaying emotions and i'm afraid of reacting the wrong way. Maybe my attempts at comforting are too lame or cliché or even insensitive, and I would have no clue. The friends I have and have had all have called me a great very caring friend so I guess I do something right. I give a lot of advice to people on the internet and i've been told i'd make a good therapist by people who know me in real life (though i'm fairly certain that is because I talk so little myself that people are comfortable opening up to me because i'm like a therapist in that I appear to be very willing to listen and I have a calm exterior). The main reason I have isolated from people most of my life is because of not understanding how to form my reactions to things people share with me. I feel very strongly for other people but in the moment when something is shared with me I blank out and start to panic on the inside.