Is it normal to find commitment of any kind scary

I'm a woman and i've had only negative experiences.
I'm socially anxious with mild autism so i've got a hard time opening up. Many has had an issue with feeling like they dont know me because I never let my guard down but instead of telling me so I could adjust it they didnt tell me until they had decided to abandon me. It has given me big trust issues.
I'm also someone who needs to move slow with physical intimacy. No one i've met has ever respected that.

Yesterday I went on my first date in over 2 years.
It went surprisingly well. No butterflies but I was in such a low mood expecting nothing, looking back at it I feel very excited that we're seeing each other again soon.
When I saw him I felt "this will go terribly" because he looked confident and "manly" but then he was awkward and a bit shy yet good at keeping the conversation going even though we talked a lot of nonsense lol. By the end of the date he started to share how uncomfortable he finds those situations and it was a big relief. We laughed about it. Then I said I suck at talking to people but he did not agree and said he's not been able to tell and i've been easy to talk to.
I'm afraid i'm gonna fuck it up because I tend to because when there's started to be talk of taking things to the next level in the past I was convinced they'd hurt me so I couldnt commit.
I feel more mature now in the sense that I am prepared to be open with how scary this is to me and that I need patience. I'm hoping not hiding how I feel and being clammed up will help when it comes to the next person I start dating seriously wether it's this guy or someone else because then i'm showing I can be vunerable. I dont know if its a good idea but I dont know what else is left to try... After all they say you have be vunerable in order to let someone in and love you. It is very scary but I dont want to be alone forever