Is it normal to find it difficult to fight the urge?

72% Normal
15 Comments

I’ve been married for almost five years. The last couple of years have been lacking any sexual excitement and as a guy in his early thirties, it’s a problem. I even suggested to my wife if we should experiment with others and she got upset. I know friends who see escorts every once in a while and from the pictures I have seen, they’re all extremely gorgeous. Of note, I love my wife and don’t want to leave her or cheat on her.

Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 18 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • KholatKhult
    1 year ago

    Maybe you shouldn’t be buddies with dudes who buy whores. Time to grow up and level up your friend group

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  • litelander8
    1 year ago

    5 years and you’re already bored. Sheesh.

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  • RedCGames
    1 year ago

    My advice to you is don't come to the internet for answers. Especially this website it's not a good place for this question to find a serious answer.

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    • Iambillythemenacetosociety
      1 year ago

      Great advice.👍

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    Google rubmaps. It shows where all the "massaige parlors" are in your city. Itll give you a codeword to tell the front desk. Its cheaper than buying a hooker. Only like 100.

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  • fatok
    1 year ago

    If she won't have sex with you masturbate infront of her. You can get off and she will see your needs.

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    • RoseIsabella
      1 year ago

      Eww... No, try to seduce her with romantic moves, brah.

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  • darefu
    1 year ago

    5 to 9 years is the hump. The newness is gone and the living responsibilities kick in.

    Is the wife attractive, you could send her my way maybe another girl can loosen things up a bit.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      Obviously one of the reasons why I married her is because she’s very attractive

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      • darefu
        1 year ago

        The fact you say she's very attractive tells me there is still something there.
        Fire is still smoldering just needs a little kickin' around to get the flames back. 5 years is on the early side for this, but look at what's changed. Do you both work, have children, live payday to payday. Are you still attractive to her or have you let yourself go a bit.

        At this point I'd say it's to early to get another person involved, for you or her. Do some date nights, cut some work hours, and expenses if need be, farm the kids out for a weekend. In other words put some spice back into it.

        I've had more fun and enjoyed my partner more living in a shack with extra money to spend than living in a mansion, with a fancy car, but no play money.

        Put the attention back on her and get her attention back on you. Nothing excites most guys more than a turned on girl. Flip her switch back to on.

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety
    1 year ago

    Sure. You could put it that way.

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety
    1 year ago

    That's just you being a people pleaser.

    OP just needs a divorce.

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  • olderdude-xx
    1 year ago

    What you are going through is normal, unfortunately.

    Your marriage is at a difficult point and will likely fail if this keeps up. Something somewhere will give and create a mess, which usually leads to a divorce.

    While there can be many reasons, each with a different fix, for this - in about 80% (or more) of cases the issue is that you and your wife do not understand each other in some key ways.

    I highly suggest that you read the book "The 5 Love Languages" bu Gary Chapman. Then have your wife read it (or if your wife is willing buy 2 copies and you both read it at the same time - except that it's likely one will read it faster than the other).

    You will likely regain the zing in your marriage if you both read and follow the recomendations in the book. If that does not do the trick by itself. You will likley be able to get permission to fill your unfilled needs once your wife really understands that you love her.

    A cautionary note on other relationships (or even just using massage parlors): Open marriages with no rules almost always fail. Open marriages with well thought out and agreed upon rules and conditions that are followed often last until death or the marriage ends for other reasons. You also need to consider and agree upon being responsible if there is a pregnancy and a child from other relationships. There are no single set of rules that fits all - every couple must come up with their own rules and conditions that fit them. For more info on the kinds of things to consider and kinds of rules: Read "More than Two" by: Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert. Understanding and discussing the issues and coming up with such rules is rarely quick or easy (although short term "temporary" conditions and rules may quickly be put in place if desired). It took my wife and I about 5 months to learn about and consider the various issues and come to an agreement on conditions, rules, and potential children.

    I wish you the best with this. Please do read "The 5 Love Languages."

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  • RoseIsabella
    1 year ago

    You need new friends who aren't scumbags.

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  • randypete
    1 year ago

    gets FWB

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