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Hi there, I have feelings for my best friend, I really wanna tell him about that but he's a muslim, I think it's banned to have a girlfriends in thier religion. Plz give me some tips I'm Christian btw
A lot of Muslim people will expect their sweetheart to convert if they're serious, and I would NEVER convert for anyone!
Same, I'm an atheist and I will never convert for anybody.
My parents are both a Muslim, though my dad was originally a Hindu.
My dad once said:
Don't go marrying people who expect you to convert nor marry someone who has very controlling tendencies.
I agree. I'm agnostic but I dont expect my partner to share my own beliefs in the nature of god. That's a personal thing.
I don't want to sound like a dick, but I'm going to...
Muslim men are usually very controlling, very jealous and if they want you to stick around, they are going to make you convert to islam.
That's for the "hardcore" muslims, those that don't drink, pray a hundred times a day, consider pork to be a hellspawn and generally loathe western cultures.
Friends of my parents' daughter got herself a muslim boyfriend. He governed every part of her life, made her convert, made her put on a hijab, forbid her from getting a job and even assaulted her brother once... As no other men can touch your "property". It took her 6 years to realize she was being turned into his slave and estranged from her family. She dumped him, there was a bunch of drama, etc...
Now that woman is married to a much more normal and non-muslim German.
So I wouldn't recommend it. I wouldn't recommend it to the point that if I had a daughter and she had a crush on a muslim man, I'd pay a bunch of thugs to... gently persuade that man to go away.
If it's a civilized muslim, one raised in western society, or from Bosnia, or the European part of Turkey for example... where they drink, wear modern clothes, etc... no problem. They are normal, same as any other man. You wouldn't be able to tell they are muslim, unless you asked.
I had a friend when I worked at walmart Muhammad (generic I know, we both found that funny)
He was the chillest muslim I've ever met. Not big into pork, prayed like 4 times a day. Every other aspect he was a great person who totally understands why muslims dont have a great picture in the western world. Hes practically a jewish dude with less steps. He was somalian born and was becoming a citizen. Great english and an understanding of americas history and governance that surpasses the average joe. He was also pro trump. Somalia? Yeah that's a shit hole country, he knows that first hand. Though he was willing to do his part and work for the usa for the usa.
What a dude.
The amount of ignorance is astounding! You're very much calling Muslims savages. Does that sound familiar? Did you not learn anything from history?
Your whoever's boyfriend analogy is extreme and not that common in Muslim society.
However, not drinking, praying five times a day, not eating Pork, none of this makes a person less or more civilized. We don't have to be raised in Western society, throw our own rich civilizations and our history in favour of yours. Get off your high horses.
Funny how civilization is measured through whether a person drinks or not.
Actually he's american but his family is Muslim so ...
He's not very religious so he lives just like us but he does his religious matters .
Maybe I will think about that
We are in the secondary school btw
My cousin has a muslim boyfriend. She hasn't got a religion.
He controls her and limits the things she is 'allowed' to do even in her own home (as if it were his right to have that power over her). He has higher 'standards' for her than for himself when it comes to what she is allowed to do and who she is allowed to consort with and what decor she is allowed to have in her home (again... it's as if he had the right to 'allow' or 'not allow' her to do things). She isn't the person I know anymore. And from what I understand, she isn't happy with it. She just lets it happen, because she loves him, and she can't say no to either him, or her own feelings of attachment. This isn't the life she wanted for herself, and it breaks our hearts as her family to see her not free and not flourishing.
If you are a Christian, even if you don't have to go through the above in the end, you still might have to choose between freely loving Jesus Christ, and loving your guy. That is, whether it comes down to a one-time ultimatum, or a hundred mini-compromises that cause your love to slip away.
My personal advice is, don't put yourself into a situation where the above might happen. Any of it. In life, we suffer losses of relationships. Hearts are strong and they heal if we let them. Sometimes you have to take a smaller heartbreak to save you from a much, much bigger one, and physical, emotional and spiritual harm that could be long-lasting. And as you will also know, if you know God, losing God is of a completely different order to losing a friend or a lover. Do what you like with my advice but I would urge you this: let yourself embrace the loss of this guy, knowing that you are making a proactive choice for your future in various possible respects.
I observed that first hand. I got to talking with a secretary at an office who told me she was going to marry an Iranian. I just told her how nice. 6 months later I went back there and she looked horrible. I got her to talk to me about it and she said directly, "He's a beast". He wouldn't let her wear makeup, see her family, and was insanely jealous of her talking to any men.
I don't like most of Iranians , they are very extremists in their religion,
Especially in this Shiite government
Iranian refugees and their families are lovely though. They integrate well into English-speaking churches. I don't think I have ever met one I didn't like.
Your post is very timely. Read this: https://www.cnn.com/2022/02/09/middleeast/iran-teenage-wife-beheaded-intl/index.html
If you're thinking about getting serious, learn more about his attitudes toward women. If you observe how his father treats his mother it'll tell you a lot.
It's normal to have a boyfreind, and its also normal that a good portion of available men in the world are Muslim.
The major question is what kind of Muslim. Like other religions there are the ultra orthodox to very liberal branches of Muslim along with the radical right and left (and every other direction).
Have a discussion with him about how he views his religion and how you see your religion and if he sees a problem with dating... and how that could potentially play out if the two of you chose to marry. Some Muslims have converted to other religions; so that is not ruled out.
He may be fine just dating and see where it goes for a year or two... which will give you time to learn a lot more.
Just remember that like people anywhere and of all religions: There are some very good people and there are some very bad people and most of use are in between.
How much of a catch he is really depends on where both of you are on that scale and how well you match in many other aspects.
I wish you well with this,
Assuming you know the intricacies of Muslim culture and are okay with them, then there's nothing weird about being attracted to your Muslim friend or wanting to date him. Depending on where they're from though, being a girlfriend might not be an option, as some places are very big on arranged marriages
There's alot of Muslim men in my area and I've been interested in a few, from the ones I talked to I've gathered it's perfectly fine for them to like us
Yes it's normal to have a Muslim boyfriend.
In my opinion religion shouldn't really matter much when dating.
Depends on what kind of Muslim he is. The only feasible way for this relationship to work is that he is a SUPER moderate Muslim. The ones that are completely ok with other religions and will play within their given society. They exist and are some of the best people I've met.
I'm not being bigoted here since even moderate muslims by polling have shown that they are still ambivalent to certain actions and policies dictated by the Quran. Such as homosexuals, other religions, killing for your religion, female genital mutilation, feminism in general, tolerance for other viewpoints, islam laws vs country laws.
Be careful and just know this is probably not going to be the last person you're going to have feelings for considering your age. He's not the only option you'll ever have. It's hard when you're best friends though because if it doesn't end well the friendship goes with the break up. Even if the break up is as logical and civil as possible it will still be hard to move back into friendship after crossing the line romantically.
I guess my tip would be to ask him more about his religion and how it would play out romantically. Most people appreciate honesty. Also praise you for dealing with shitty comments with a level head.
I wouldn’t go there. They’re usually extremely misogynistic and have other backwards views about culture and life. Unless you’re prepared to relinquish all semblance of identity, cover yourself from head to toe, give up working, give up having friends/seeing your family, and give up leaving the house without a male guardian then it’s just not worth it. He has been raised to see you (women) as having a lesser level of consciousness than men and basically existing to serve mens’ needs.
It says in the quaran that men can have up to four wives, beat them for being disobedient, force them to sleep outside for refusing sex, and marry prepubescent girls then rape them three months after they start their period. Islam is a plague
You sound very educated on the topic.
Let's fact check:
'cOvEr fRom HeAd to ToE' is not something imposed by Muslim men. It is a Muslim woman's choice. As the OP is non-muslim, it doesn't matter whether she wears the HIJAB or not, and her man can't force her.
'Give up working.' Also no. Just no. ??
'Give up having friends.' Another obvious no.
'Leaving the house without a male guardian.' This one's funny ngl. But no.
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Now unto what the quran says.
Yes you can have up to four wives but on quite strict conditions that it's better to just have one.
If by 'beating' you mean tapping them lightly with a miswak, then yes.
Force them to sleep outside is another hilarious one. How'd u come up with that?
The last one too.