Is it normal to have a roommate with a 20+ age gap

6 Comments

So I know this isn't normal in the first place, but I guess I just need some outsider opinions. In the next week I'm (20f) moving up with a woman I met (40f). This is the first time I'm moving out of my childhood home and for starters I'm incredibly nervous, and this location is decently far from where I am right now. My parents aren't supportive of the fact that I'm moving out with someone that is much older than I am, but honestly I see it as a good thing?

She definitely knows how to maintain a house, pay bills, and essentially just do a bunch of shit that I haven't really had to do yet. I honestly trust her more than any other 20 year old that I could potentially move in with, but should I be concerned? My anxiety along with opinions of others around me have made me very hesitant to commit to this move. Some people have been saying that she must have a lot of problems to allow a 20 year old to move in with her. Myself along with older coworkers I've had have told me I'm a lot more mature for my age (mainly having friends over 30) compared to other 20 year olds, so to me it makes sense but I'm just not sure if I'm being stupid about this decision.

Clearly nobody on this forum knows her or me, but to the "older" population on here, should I be concerned? Is this a real red flag that I'm not listening to?

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Comments ( 6 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    Its a risk but could be better than having another 20 year old roomate that doesnt know how to do anything yet. Im assuming you are signing a lease with her.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    1 year ago

    How is this a big deal? Where I live this is common and 40 today is like late 20s so most likely she'll act like an older sibling. I'm in my 30s I've had roommates who were 20 they saw me as a big sister. Not a big deal. You're both adults too. 20 years isn't even that big of a gap for a roommate. I've had roommates 40 years older than me when I was younger.

    Just imagine Ashton Kutcher or Mila Kunis as your roommate. Would you really think of the age difference? Doubt it. I'm headed towards 40 and people still mistake me for 20 every day. Sure I find 20 years olds a little inexperienced with life and I'd definitely never date one but they're adults just younger. I wouldn't treat them like kids at all so no worries.

    Oh and if she acts older than 40, my future 40 year old self doesn't claim her because I have plenty of friends in their 40s and they act the same as they did in their late 20s and 30s. Young and fun just more responsible.

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  • olderdude-xx
    1 year ago

    Typically its no more of a problem than any other "unknown" roommate or housemate situation.

    I've had larger age differences in my life (where I rented a room with shared common house areas from retired people who need the extra $$$ to stay in their home).

    I'd not be too worried, just cautious.

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  • raisinbran
    1 year ago

    Your parents have a good reason to be concerned. Older people take advantage of younger people. I would find something where you have your own space including kitchen and bath even if it's a small space. Ask your parents to give you a little extra rent money so you can afford something better.

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  • Somenormie
    1 year ago

    Yes.

    Should it matter much? Not really.

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  • bigbudchonger
    1 year ago

    I think this is quite sensible tbh; she can help you with the bills and house management which you don't know how to do yet.

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