Is it normal to have extreme difficulty talking to my kids?

42% Normal
4 Comments

I did something drastic and unexplainable one day, 2 years ago and indirectly lost custody of my kids. Before they left , I talked to them all the time but it really didn't amount to much. They were behind verbally a little, my daughter was 4 before she could talk properly. I've always been quiet. But after 2 years of barely talking to or seeing my kids (partially due to the circumstances) I dont know how to talk to my kids. Or any kids. Or anyone for that matter. My daughter called me and I asked her how she was and what she was doing. After her response, I just couldn't think of anything to say. The conversation was kind of awkward. Consisting mostly of "hi"s at first. She's only 5 but she talks alot to her grandparents and other family. I've heard her ramble on and on over the phone before. But after stating she was going out for ice cream and telling her cousin beside her that she was talking to her mommy, me and her kind of just stared at each other in silence.. I was drawing blanks as far as conversating goes. (This was on video chat btw). This happens with other ppl too. I had to babysit my niece's and nephews who are similar in age recently who all talk really well but I really don't know what to say to them most of the time either when they talk to me. I recently got back in contact with my mom too and unless she asks me a question or talks to me first, I really don't say anything. Even thru text with friends, I really don't have much to say. I couldn't hold a conversation if my life depended on it.
Is this normal ?

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 12 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    I'm just curious as to what the drastic, an unexplainable thing was.

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  • Ellenna
    4 years ago

    How about doing more listening, and I mean really listening, rather than worrying about what to say?

    Ask open ended questions. I'll give you an example in another context: after a certain age, most kids if you ask them what they did at school will say "nothing much" but I find if I ask them what sort of a day they've had I'll get a response on which I can base more conversation.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    I can't imagine loosing your kids. I think its the saddest thing in the world for a child to go through. What could be so important to risk loosing your children? No f*cking excuse! You need to pull your finger out and do whateva it takes for them children. Your life doesn't matter anymore, theirs does.

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  • SwickDinging
    4 years ago

    You've just lost your confidence with them. Maybe you feel hugely guilty and it makes it hard to know what to say to them.

    Talking to kids doesn't come naturally to most people. I was like this before I had my own kids. They don't know the rules of conversation yet so there's no back and forth, you have to keep putting in all the leg work and make sure it's all child level topics. It can feel like a lot of hard work if you aren't used to it anymore. It takes practice.

    Next time you arrange a video chat make yourself some notes - ask her about school, movies, tv, friends, dress up, ask her to show you drawings, why has she drawn that? Is that her favourite colour? Once she gets properly chatting to you she won't shut up.

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