Is it normal to hide family mental health history from gf?

26% Normal
31 Comments

My family has a long and serious history of Schizophrenia and I know I’m starting to get around the age where it usually shows up. I’m 26 and male.

Twice this season I’ve driven to work at 2 AM, tried to pick my gf early at work because I thought she asked me to, and called my ex to ask if she had walked my dog that passed away 3 years ago.

The other night I came home and my girlfriend was upset, she told me that I’ve been acting really different lately and that I’ve been disorganized and distant. The trouble is I don’t think I’ve been acting differently at all, besides the few slip ups I’m aware of.

I never told her about my families history, and I did lie and tell her my father was an alcoholic in and out of rehab when really he has been an inpatient for years now.

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26% Normal
Based on 19 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago | pl

    I don't think it's fair to your girlfriend for you to hide the truth of your family's medical/psychiatric history from her.

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    4 years ago

    How long have yall been together? If it were me I would kind of let her figure it out, if we had been together for a while, because I wouldn't want to lose her. Or I'd just ease that information to her over a period of time. I'd definitely see a psychiatrist and try to get it treated. If you tell her you're schizophrenic there's a good chance she will try not to get too attached. Someone above said it's not fair to the girl, which is true, but sometimes you have to be on YOUR side so to speak. If you really love her and don't want to lose her you have to do what you can to keep her happy and her with you.

    I've been in your same situation. I dated a girl that I found out had schizophrenia. The only advice I can give you on the condition is dont smoke weed or drink alcohol. Because that's when she seemed to start becoming delusional. I ended up having to drop her off at the emergency room the first day I smoked weed with her. I feel really bad for the girl. She's a beautiful girl still and she can't keep a relationship because of her issues. It's really fucked up that she was dealt those cards. It doesnt sound like you're nearly as bad as her. She said she was seeing demons when she hit the blunt. No bueno.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    You have to tell her. For her safety and yours.

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  • d0esnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Damn that's scummy. I hope she dumps you in short order!

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  • ellnell
    4 years ago

    No its very unfair to her. If I found out my partner had been hiding such a thing i'd dump him .

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    • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
      4 years ago

      What if you found out after you had fallen in love with him and were engaged though? See thats how you play it. You gotta hook em first then ease in the bad stuff 😋🤣

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      • ellnell
        4 years ago

        Yeah i'd still dump him. Especially then, because that'd mean he was an insecure and not very trustworthy person so not worth wasting anymore time on.
        Love doesn't stop me from this. I've been head over heels before and broke up with him the second he broke my trust, took me years to get over him but never looked back. Blocked him everywhere when he tried to reach me again.
        Someone lying to me is the number one way for me to lose my respect for them for good. It never comes back after that and I can't be with someone I don't respect.

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        • RoseIsabella
          4 years ago

          Much love, and respect to you, girl!

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      • RoseIsabella
        4 years ago

        That's really terrible.

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  • Soph1931
    4 years ago

    I agree with others here, this isn't fair to your girlfriend. You're being a real asshole if she's already noticed something is up and questioned you about it and you're trying to hide it. Get treated or whatever but don't hide it.

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  • Dingus69
    4 years ago

    You owe it to yourself to tell her. It might make or break the relationship but if she isn’t willing to support you through the difficult times is she really the one for you? Also please seek professional help. Today. You need it and it might be expensive but the cost of not doing so will be much greater.

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  • private3
    4 years ago

    I don't blame you for wanting to hide this. People can be judgemental

    As you're already 26 I don't think you're going to get schizophrenia.

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  • CapriSun
    4 years ago

    She isn’t entitled to know your family history. However if it’s you and it’s effecting your relationship (which it is) she should know the truth. It’s better to be honest than have her confused or think something worse is going on. If my boyfriend told me he was schizophrenic I’d feel a lot better to have closure about it, and to know they’re being honest with me, it’s an understandable situation imo.

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  • LifeIsWhatever
    4 years ago

    You should just tell her. Like why lie in the first place. Just pull the damn bandage off.

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  • AvrilLavigne
    4 years ago

    If I was in your shoes, I must say it's normal to hide those things from your gf. But in general, you still eventually have to admit those things to your partner as soon as possible. Things will get more complicated once she found out the truth on her own. Talk it out immediately. You can do it, bro.

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  • controversy
    4 years ago

    Take antipsychotic pls.

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    • d0esnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Yeah because that's the solution for dishonesty in relationships.

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      • controversy
        4 years ago

        it is the solution for his schizophrenia. Antipsychotics are the mainstay for treating schizophrenia.

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        • d0esnormalmatter
          4 years ago

          That's not what the post is about. If OP wanted medical advice from iin, which is extremely fucking stupid, he would have asked for it. He is asking if its normal to lie to his girlfriend.

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          • controversy
            4 years ago

            If his disorganized/distorted thinking gets fixed then there is nothing to lie about. Handling psychosis,paranoia,delusions,unstable behavior is what antipsychotics do. With effective treatment schizophrenics can lead a fulfilling life.

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            • d0esnormalmatter
              4 years ago

              "I never told her about my families history, and I did lie and tell her my father was an alcoholic in and out of rehab when really he has been an inpatient for years now"

              This is what I have a problem with right here. Iin isn't a medical forum.

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