Is it normal to idealize and become attached to people just to dislike them later?

43% Normal
10 Comments

I've found myself having recurring issues with the way I deal with friendships and specially romantic relationships.

I will meet someone new, and if they cause a good impression I might just 100% like them and want to talk to them and be around them all of the time. Sometimes I might almost instantly develop romantic feelings for them.

Once I get to know them a bit more and find a couple of things that I might dislike from them I begin a process of just devaluing my appreciation and interest on them to a point in which I might go from really liking them to not wanting to talk to them anymore.

One example was in my two last relationships, when at first I had total devotion to my partners and couldn't stop talking to them 24/7, and after not long I found they disagreed with me on certain stuff, or that they did or thought things that I didn't like, or that they didn't like some of the things I did, which ended up ruining my idealization of them and ended up driving me to neglecting them or treating them slightly different, which naturally led them to abandon me.

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 7 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • RoseIsabella
    2 years ago

    Do you have really intense, and overwhelming emotions?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Yeah, not sure what triggers them or what I am actually feeling but I sometimes I can seemingly feel like shit seemingly for no reason and some very specific, rare-as-fuck times I might feel actually happy or hopeful.

      When it comes to a relationships it's kinda like that, first I might feel great (as great as my depressed ass can be) and then have a massive mood swing after something that might be irrelevant happened.

      I'm kinda used to it lol

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      • RoseIsabella
        2 years ago

        That sounds like swimming in a rough sea.

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  • Curiouskitten444
    2 years ago

    Try reading up on codependency.

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  • Tinybird
    2 years ago

    I mean some things are complete deal-breakers to me on if I respect a person or not. And unfortunately 99% of people indulge in this deal-breaker :(

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    • Curiouskitten444
      2 years ago

      Im so curious, what is it?? 😮

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      • Tinybird
        2 years ago

        If they judge me for who/what I'm attracted to.

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        • Curiouskitten444
          2 years ago

          Aw im sorry people judge you for it :c

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          • Tinybird
            2 years ago

            Thanks <3

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  • [Old Memory]
    2 years ago

    Well it might be borderline personality disorder but probably not if that's the only symptom you got and if you have that its more like highly idolizing someone only to suddenly hate them. Sounds more like a similar issue i've got. I tend to always search for or find flaws in people I intially liked but to me usually only happens with romantic interests. I have a pretty avoidant personality so for me I assume it's a subconcious process which keeps me from forming any close emotional bonds. Idk how to fix it or anything though. I guess you have to figure out why you might be that way or something.

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