Is it normal to never look good no matter how hard you try?

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9 Comments

I (F/28) spend hours on my appearance most times when I go out because that's literally how long it takes me to feel the slightest bit normal. But after, I still don't feel right.

The outfits look better in my head. Once I actually get dressed, I feel like a lunatic and look like a slob. There's always something I'm missing even though I spend hours getting ready sometimes. Like I'll think I'm done then realize my shirt needs ironed because it looks very wrinkled. Then I iron it, and it still just don't look right.

Or I'll get ready and decide on shorts, but then need to shave my legs. Moisturize. Pick different shoes. Etc. It's a never ending process. But I'm never happy.

I have a closet stuffed with clothes but none of them match or go together. Idk how it's possible.

I'm not narcissistic, I swear. It's more that I dislike myself a lot. I want to wear nice clothes but I always look like a slob, nothing fits right, nothing matches. So I always end up in a pair of blue jeans and rotating the same 3 t-shirts, same black converse. I'm sick of it.

For hyigene, I try really hard all the time -- brush my teeth 3x a day, floss, mouthwash, chew gum -- every day--- and people still say my breath is disgusting. I also sweat easily and no ammount of deoderant masks the stink. I hate myself, I'm so disgusting but it's a pain in the ass to spend hours and hours and still fail.

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75% Normal
Based on 4 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Jh9856
    10 months ago

    As you mentioned about looks,i used to feel this way for quite a while. being perfectionist about your own looks is overwhelming. I used to be very concerned about my lower jawbone, it is disproportionally large to my upper jawbone. Overtime i realized absolutely NOBODY is perfect, for example, people you see on social media pictures are nowhere near like that in person. 99% of issues we see on our own looks are not even noticed by others.

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  • DADNSCAL
    10 months ago

    The problem isn’t with your wardrobe or grooming, it’s your poor self esteem. That shows an upbringing in a critical atmosphere where you were made to feel worthless and couldn’t do anything right. I suggest some serious introspection and maybe therapy.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 months ago

      Yeah, there is probably a lot of truth to this. But actually it's opposite -- I was brought up with a narcissistic mother who only dressed me in designer clothes and told me that I was prettier than everyone else. I never believed it, and it actually made me feel worse about myself. I'm thankful that I didn't become a raging narcissist but somehow it shattered my self esteem.

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      • DADNSCAL
        10 months ago

        I can relate though I'm a man but my mother was and still is overcritical. Therapy helped a lot. I wish you the best in your struggle. At least you're aware of your problem.

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  • Tinybird
    10 months ago

    You don't "NEED to shave." Not shaving does not make a female ugly.

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  • litelander8
    10 months ago

    20 lbs overweight AINT shit. Fat girlies get laid all the time. And you’re obviously not fat.

    Maybe you have tonsil stones or something. That shit makes breath hella nasty.

    Try using a lemon slice on your pits.

    Confidence is all men really notice. They about cling to anything 🙄

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 months ago

    I'm not. Some of my family has the same 'chubby' body type as me so I think it's just biological. We have big thighs and big upper arms, but the rest is slim. It's not something I can exercise off, so I plan on liposuction one day tbh

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    • darefu
      10 months ago

      Don't do liposuction, go to a gym and talk to a personal trainer. Your in luck big butts are all the fad and preferred right now, just tone it up. The arms can again be toned and trimmed down with the correct exercises.

      It's weird but even being in normal weight standards if it's in the wrong spots can cause excessive body sweating, under boobs, inner thighs, and of course under arms. Anywhere that your skin lays or comes in contact with other parts of your body. Temperature increases and lack of air flow allows for over heating.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    10 months ago

    I appreciate your words. I actually don't ever eat smelly foods (I don't like the taste) and eat very bland and small. If I ate any less, I wouldn't eat at all. Yet somehow I'm about 20lbs overweight and smell.. I just don't get it. I go to the dentist regularly too.. Every 6 months I'm taking time off work for a dentist appointment. I apply perfume but since I'm around my mother a lot, she is always smoking, so that's a losing situation. I always smell like BO and cigarettes. I just don't know anymore but at least I know I'm not alone. I just don't feel I look half-decent in anything -- I always feel like a slob

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