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I’m just not really that physically attracted to my boyfriend. His body is okay but he’s not that cute. I’d never tell him that and I try not to let it get in the way of anything but if I physically just don’t like how he looks I don’t know how to fix that. Am I wrong for feeling uncertain about the relationship because I don’t find him attractive?
Isn't that the point of dating, to test the compatibility between yourself and a prospective long term partner?
Then you are not in love with him, so you should leave him.
I've in the past developed feelings for guys who weren't really attractive, but they became attractive to me because I was in love with them. If you are in love with someone you don't have thoughts about how unattractive they are. Plus it's rude and selfish to him when he could find someone who actually loves him.
In the end its more about mental attraction and compatibility than physical. I'd suggest that its likely that you are not really into him based on how he treats you, his concepts of life at this point, and his vision of the future (with or without you).
Most likely its time to move on. Having someone convenient for sex is nice... and does not by itself allow you to move ahead in life and become the Lady you are meant to be.
We’ve had sex once or twice, it isn’t something we do all the time. Whenever I see him we spend time together and do other relationship things.
That's a good way to develop a relationship; and it allows you to judge his character and suitability for more.
In my opinion too many people get to involved with sex too early in a relationship, which prevents them from seeing and understanding the real person first.
I wish you the best with this...
The fact that you found this a problem after becoming his girlfriend instead of it being one of the original deciding factors means you are, quite possibly, dense.
Usually it’s not a deciding factor to begin with. I thought that I would be able to look past that like I have in the past when I’m really into somebody.
Yes it is normal, I have been out with a few girlfriends I didn't find attractive. Although that is not a deciding factor, it is often a sign that you aren't right for each other. For a relationship to thrive you don't want to be looking at other men and lusting after them because they are more attractive. If your in love with him you would find him attractive. People's attractiveness grow over time, the longer you spend with them, so if they have a great personality and you desperately want it to work then stay and wait. Often though, it's not worth it. There's plenty of potentials out there for you that you'll find more attractive and they might find someone else they are better off with too.
I broke up with him last night. I’ve been busy with work anyway so I told him we don’t see each other enough. He’s a really nice guy but I guess I felt we weren’t right for each other.
Why don’t you just be honest and tell him this isn’t really working for you, your just not feeling it. You don’t have to be horrible about it, the fact you started out as just friends might mean you can go back to that, that really depends on what the 2 of you are like as people. But if you just let things drag on when you’re really not into him then eventually it will all end in disaster.
Well, if you really didn't care about someones looks (and if looks don't matter to you) you wouldn't be torn over this. Everyone says looks don't matter but it does. and its fine to be a little selfish and want a hot bf. But don't let this drag on, especially if you don't really find him attractive.
So what got you interested in the first time ?
Myself I have to have an attraction there of some sort to be interested in her. Just because she can suck a golf ball thru 20 ft of garden hose doesnt mean I'm suddenly attracted to her.
We had been friends for a couple years and we started talking a lot more. We got along well and we have fun when we’re together. I don’t find it hard to do relationship things like kissing etc but I don’t feel attracted to him physically. I think he’s kind of ugly and I feel bad about it because it’s shallow but I don’t think I can change how I feel.
I know how you feel. I dated a gal a bunch of years ago and it was alright, but then, and this really sounds shitty for me to say, but the faces she made when we would have sex, it was just a real turn off for me. I tried looking past it but I just couldnt do it. Even tho she is probably the 2nd female I dated that was actually ok with me being a crossdresser. That in itself would have been reason for me to stay, but i just couldnt. We went our separate ways and she got pregnant from her boss and had a kid. And I havent seen her in years.
So to avoid getting to a point of almost disgust, why not tell him you need to go your separate ways. And if you find that you miss him then maybe you do like him more than you really think.
I suggest that you read the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. There is a teenage version if that is more age appropriate.
Is it just his looks, or something more? Is there a real possibility this could work; or not? This book should start you figuring that out.
Normally, I suggest that a couple each get their own book and both read it. My wife and I did prior to our engagement and it made all the difference in the world and allowed us to really build true love between us; and it rates as the 2nd most significantly influential mentoring book that I give to people looking to improve their lives.
In my mentoring (charity and professional) often present a selection of 6-8 books on different subjects and allow them to chose which one they are most interested in. The 5 Love Languages is commonly chosen as a lot of people have relationship issues.
Based on feedback "The 5 Love Languages" is the 2nd most useful/influential book that I normally give out.
"How to win friends and influence people in the digital age" by Dale Carnegie and Associates is the most useful/influential book based on feedback. Note that the older version "How to win friends and influence people" is also effective (and available in something like 60 languages around the world).
I wish you the best with this.