Is it normal to not have a desire to convert a girlfriend to my religion?

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7 Comments

Me and religiousness:
I am an agnostic muslim. And not very religious. Not practicing at least. Yes there are some traditions and habits deeply embedded in me but they have consequential (eg. no booze and doobies), hygenic (eg. using water to wash before using toilet paper) or healthy (eg. halal meat) rationales to them. So conforming to those practices becomes a matter of logic and habit.

Me and relationships:
The only two women I have dated were of different faith than me. But religion was never an issue. To talk about the most recent one, she even went to church. I never forced my religion on her or brought it up myself but she was often curious about many aspects and some myths and so I was happy to enlighten or clarify. At one point she even wanted to fast with me. I told her she really didnt have to, she was slender and barely ate as it is. I was concerned she would pass out on the street lol. I also didnt want her to feel obligated that she HAD to. As long as she wanted to. She did and it was a fun month.

Me and the dilemma:
Not once did I want any of those women to convert to Islam. If they wanted to do so themselves, well and good. If not, it wouldnt have bothered me too much. Part of me feels like there is something odd about that. Back in my home country, many would be all about "WELL IS SHE GUNNA CONVERT?" among other things. I am not.

Yet I wonder why? Why am I not? Is it normal to be this way? Some people think I am being stupid. Or that I am too young (23) and not yet serious about relationships. I personally believe it is just how I am in terms of religion. So, to wrap up this novel with the original question: Is it normal I dont have that common strong desire for my women to convert?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 23 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Avant-Garde
    9 years ago

    Normal. I wish more people would do this in relationships, instead of forcing the other partner to convert or letting the topic ruining the relationship. If I were in a relationship, I would never force/pressure conversion. It's actually against my faith's tenets to do this. I would respect their beliefs. Neither would I want to be in a relationship where my beliefs are not respected and I am pressured into converting.

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  • Goomats
    9 years ago

    It's a pain in the butt and a rift in a relationship to try to change someone. I can see why you do not want to try to do it.

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago

    It's perfectly normal.

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  • zoffix
    9 years ago

    Ugh, why would you want your girlfriend to be brainwashed into believing Bronze Age fairytales?

    I'd say it is good and normal that you don't have desires to convert them. It's 2014, after all.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I don't understand your point. As an agnostic, you do not practice any religion, so why would you even care, one way or another, about your fictional girlfriend's religion? Why would she even consider converting to a religion you don't subscribe to? This thread makes no sense.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      You make a great point.

      As an agnostic you neither admit to a religion nor do you admit to atheism, but you still incline to one stance more than the other. I do not think of it as black and white. However I realize I may have misinterpreted my habits and culture as indications of religious practice.

      The thread may make no sense but that's simply reflective of my conflicted self.

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  • seekelp
    9 years ago

    I thought that doobies were allowed in Islam.

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