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I have never opened up to anyone before about anything in my life (family and friends) because I was sexually abused as a child, physically and mentally abused by my ex, and deep down I secretly dream of sexually torturing men.
Did I already mention I've never opened up to anyone (who knows me), ever?
Good for you. It is indeed annoying how, in our warped society, people seem to think everyone cares about their feelings.
If you were sexually abused as a child, find the disgusting and depraved monsters who did it, and show them what true torture feels like. Take some sharp knives and go nice and slowly, cutting off their flesh, and let their screams be your cheerleaders. Don't let anyone in our horrible and reprehensible society try and stop you.
Revenge is the best way to go. Not only is this revenge, but it is true justice.
That sucks, but the only place to go is up. Maybe therapy would help you.
Keeping things bottled up inside will ultimately lead to those things eating you up from the inside out. Find someone to talk to. There must be support groups in your area, if you don't wish to seek professional help.