Is it normal to not see the point of sex?

33% Normal
8 Comments

I dont see the point in sex and im afraid its going to feel weird more than good. Whenever I have dated someone they have seemingly taken offense or even hurt by me denying them sex. Im talking to a guy again now because we have had feelings for each other for years but the issue has been intimacy. He expressed to me when we last dated that he felt hurt and rejected by me refusing to engage physically with him and that he felt disgusting. This made no logical sense to me but he said that sex is a way to express love and to feel connected. No other guy has told me that but they have seemed to feel upset by me. I am trying to change because I am not asexual seeing as the definition of that is not experiencing sexual attraction and I do experience that. In the end I think I just feel I can take care of myself so why go through with the hassle of engaging physically with another person? I dont see the point in it but also its something I want to fix about myself, if only so I can have a lasting relationship for once... I wouldnt even want to date an asexual fellah because I demand chemistry, aka that I find the guy attractive and that he has sex appeal, to even be able to fall in love. I dated the unsexiest man ever last year and it made me genuienly depressed, so much that most of our time together is a blur almost lol. It doesnt make much sense but its how I feel. I think my hormones might be screwed up and maybe I am too good at pleasing myself so its enough for me, I should try not doing it anymore right? Lolll.

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 12 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • JuicyTho
    10 months ago

    As a female who has a higher desire for sex than my male partner. I can feel completely heartbroken, as strong as grief, when he doesnt show an interest in sex with me despite having sex a couple of times a week. The desire to have sex, at least for me, is similar to the desire/need to eat or drink. Taking care of yourself all the time can be really selfish. Are you sure you arent dragging him along?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 months ago

      I understand. It seems important on an emotional level for many people. I never considered that in the past.
      I am sure but im not entirely sure. I mean I want to be with him I have feeling for him but this is a problem I have but I want to fix it, because any man I want to commit to I will have to fix this problem to be with.

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      • JuicyTho
        10 months ago

        I think that maybe because you can please yourself sufficiently (I cant do this alone to climax) possibly you feel like sex with another isnt going to measure up? What about if you show him how you do you? That would be pretty nerve wracking to me but it could open up so many possibilities for you. This is making me think back to when I first tried to do oral sex on my older more experienced boyfriend. He was polite but you know it wasnt as good as it could be. So I asked him to show me, guide me, tell me how you like it.

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  • dude_Jones
    10 months ago

    Nope. Something is wrong with you. Good sex should be better than masturbation, but masturbation should be better than bad sex.

    Good news is that you are comfortable with yourself. But pleasurable stimulus isn’t causing pleasure for you.

    Find a female sex counselor and talk thru this stuff. You will have to be brave and open minded enough to experiment. She should be able to figure out a plan to get you on track.

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  • TheAmateurStrongmanCompetitor
    10 months ago

    yeah I prefer masturbation but not all the time

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  • SkullsNRoses
    10 months ago

    You say you find men sexually attractive yet you have no interest in having sex with them and don’t see the point of sex at all- this is contradictory. Is it possible you only find men romantically attractive, you desire a relationship but without a sexual component?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 months ago

      I know its weird. I have thought about it but it makes no sense because men turn me on sexually but then something turns me off from acting on it and I dont know what does it

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  • normal-rebellious
    10 months ago

    I think you should get married before starting sexual connection, kiss him first, get married and follow the rules of marriage. It doesn't stop there, because men refused sex with you, subconsciously you want to cut off sexual contact. I suggest you talk to a psychologist before it gets damaging to your health. If anything, it's not meds you'll be taking but a good talk about your frustrations, I've known some frustrated people who can't even make babies, it's called impotence, which is subjective because it's the victim's own personal decision whether they're impotent or not. And yes it's normal but it's a problem for you, do you only need a kiss? Or is it mental sex you want, such as giving affirmations?

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