Ask Your Question today
I only want/can afford to raise one child. I was surprised when I began talking to others about this because most of the feedback was negative. People saying things like the kid will grow up sad and lonely, spoiled, introverted, greedy etc. What is your opinion?
People are ignorant at the cost of children. If you only want and afford one child, then there should be nothing wrong with that. I think the OP is wise to do this.
Perfectly normal. I have one child, shes almost 20 now. She is awesome, smart, kind, funny, sweet, caring, she's just all around amazing. I never spoiled her but the family did just a little because she was the first grandchild on my side for a long time. She was far from lonely too, she had lots of cousins around her age on her fathers side.
Introversion has nothing to do with it, and what is wrong about that anyway? I am introverted and not an only child. Anyone can grow up sad and lonley anyway, if you're a sad person it's more to do with you and your mind than if you're an only child or not. Spoilt? yes it's possible, but that's only if you choose to spoil the kid. Many kids with siblings are just as spoiled as an only child. Unless you live in some remote area far away from other families the kid won't be lonley as there'll always be kids on the playground outside that he or she will automatically get to know and hopefully be able to become friends with.
It's fine to only have one child. The people saying that your kid will grow up messed up are basically insulting you to make them feel better about themselves.
I'm an only child. I was never lonely as a kid. I had plenty of friends to raise hell with.
My perspective on this question: I was the eldest of eight children, and I'm the father of a lone child (and there's zero chance she'll ever have a sibling).
I have problems with the term "spoiled". Some parents are selfish dickheads, and some of them will consider giving a child anything more than the bare minimum in terms of attention, affection and physical stuff spoiling them.
It seems to me that "entitled" is a much better word for what any sane parent would not want their child to become: someone who believes they are better than everyone else and that by virtue of their very existence they deserve only the best, should immediately get whatever they might wish for and that it's perfectly reasonable for them to throw a temper-tantrum if they don't get it.
If parents have their heads screwed on right, there's no reason why a lone child should grow up feeling entitled. I believe that preventing that mindset from developing in a child is largely a matter of making sure that the kid grows up with the security of knowing there are reasonable boundaries and that they will be consistently enforced in a loving but firm way.
Our daughter is now twelve and she's not spoiled or entitled by any measure. She's a friendly, caring, outgoing kid who has no shortage of friends. Although her age means she lacks perspective and real understanding of the world as much as any kid her age, she's very aware that we have a blessed existence compared to many families, and she's grateful for all she has in terms of a stable, loving family and a reasonably comfortable lifestyle.
She's no more perfect than any child, but the times when she's the biggest pain for her mother and me are when her birthday and Christmas approach: she's never able to tell us anything that she'd really like.
Having grown up with a gaggle of brothers and sisters, I think the idea that siblings will always be a blessing is a crock of shit. In the last forty years, I can count on one hand the number of times I've spent any time with any of my siblings. Most of them are similarly uninterested in spending any time with each other. It's not that we hate or even dislike each other (although my next-youngest sister and the sister one sibling younger than her had a feud that went on for decades after the elder sister seduced the younger's sister's husband). Mainly, it's just that we all grew up sufficiently well-adjusted and independent enough to leave home and go out to make our own ways in the world without continuing to cling to family for support of any sort.
Our daughter has occasionally wistfully said that she wishes she had a brother or sister. I do understand that, but as a child of a large family, I'm well aware of all the downsides of having siblings, and I haven't hesitated to tell her some stories about my childhood.
I firmly believe that family is nothing more significant than a group of people you happened to be born into. Some people are fortunate to have a wonderful family, but a lot of people are not. There's no guarantee that siblings will get along, and it's not uncommon for siblings to grow up detesting each other. When that happens, it can also poison the relationship between the children and their parents, since some people never get past resenting their parents for forcing them to have an unbreakable link with a person or people they really dislike.
As others have already mentioned, kids can be very expensive. Even if you manage to avoid raising a kid who makes your life a misery if he or she isn't always dressed in this month's fashion and has the latest tech and the prettiest car when they get old enough to have one, simply feeding, clothing and caring for a child can make a large hole in a couple's budget.
Also, something that many yet-to-be parents never fully appreciate until they have a kid is how it fundamentally alters your life. It's only when you walk away from the maternity ward holding a small person that you're wholly responsible for that you truly start to grasp the magnitude of the task you've taken on - and if you don't have that feeling, then you should never have decided to become a parent in the first place. You may believe you understand what it's all about, but I can assure you that nobody who isn't a parent has more than an inkling of the reality.
Every women should at keast have two kids! Otherwise she is egomanic, lazy, self-centred.
It’s your life, you don’t have to explain yourself to others. I personally love children and want about six. ❤️
Don't have any.
period.
Problem solved.
This planet has more then enough.
If you feel the need.
Adopt instead.
Why bring kids into an already overcrowded world?
I personally agree with the “spoilt” opinion. And trust me, kids are rarely affordable.
Honestly the only reason why I would want to have more than one kid is the fact that kids can still die and having two or three maximizes your chances of having a kid survive into adulthood. I dont want just one kid that if they die at like 14 my family is fucked forever. Backups people backups.
While normal, you are indeed a selfish piece of shit asshole for leaving that kid to be alone after you and the other parent are dead and gone. Dont do it either have 2 or have none
I dont want any children but I only have sex to procreate. I'm religious like that. Doc says anal is no way to get pregnant but I mean I guess I just gotta keep trying prove em wrong you know