Is it normal to overeat because you're dealing with crap and don't care anymore?

I'm so mad at myself right now.
I have struggled with weight loss my whole life. I've lost weight successfully multiple times. It was my game plan this past year, starting in Nov 2020, to lose more weight -to go on roller coasters, zip line, etc. And I've failed.

I was on a good track until May-June. I had lost weight and was down to my lowest level since High School!! Then I started a new job to help alleviate my housing situation (so I could move out). I worked two jobs for a minute. My weight loss slowed in June/July. I quit the one job because I was overworked. Then I went more full-time at the restaurant and started serving. It's stressful at times working at the restaurant and there is drama, cliquey people and immature dynamics. I've started putting on weight now. I've been overeating again and stress-eating. There's times when I need to eat again after a few hours of starting my shift.

I've completely erased all gains I've made this year. I'm back up almost 15 pounds just in the past two months alone. The weight gain started in mid September.

I'm mad because I feel out of control, I feel like the job is partly to blame for this. I'm dealing with something I can't put a handle on, so I stress or emotional eat to compensate.
I'm out of control because I'm actively not saying NO to myself for choices I should make better. I've stopped caring. And I think it's because I think other people don't care about me. Like my coworkers at work. And if they don't care about me, why should I care about me and my life? I think that's what's happening. And I'm taking it out on myself.

I have to lose this weight all over again, and I was just getting started. I need to get down to 220-200lb. My highest was 400lb, then I was steady around 300ish for most of the past ten years. Getting back under 300 was a big achievement, and getting back to 287 - a weight I was at during my first weight loss journey in 2003-2005, felt good. I was actually down to 275 this year before I plateaued and then now proceeded to gain back up to 295 as of this morning.
Part of it is water weight. Eating a lot more carbs. Working at a ramen noodle shop with saltier foods, noodles, etc, fatty foods.
But the rest is real weight gain.

I'm sorry but I needed to vent somewhere where someone might respond.

I can try to get my willpower and choices back in order, but I'm afraid it's the job or something at the job that is making me into a different person.
Because in order for me to lose this weight, ALL of it, I need to be someone who cares about myself A LOT.
And that saddens me. Because it means I must not. Being human aside from that and making some occasional indulgent choices, there is a pattern here.
And I wish I knew why.
There are other things factoring into my mental state. Stresses and frustrations in other areas of life. But it's pretty noticeably, on a timeline - with this new job I started.
Shit, I was losing weight still at my job I had earlier in the year that I desperately wanted to leave because I had been there 5 years and hated some of the people.
Le sigh.

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Based on 3 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • imaz

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  • Lusty-Argonian

    Enjoy the fat rolls and regret in your future

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    • donkeykong716

      Mmm, fat rolls slathered in butter and with a side of gravy, yum!

      Not! 😠

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  • Somenormie

    I was in the same boat, I overate because I kept eating my feelings this was my biggest regret throughout my life.

    Since I've now recovered from this I don't want to go back into my old ways.

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    • donkeykong716

      Right, for sure

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    I say it all the time on here look into intermittent fasting. Try only eating once you get off work or something. If you eat 4 times a day plus snacks start eating 2 or 1 times a day no snacks.

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    • donkeykong716

      My problem is I’m not eating right at all. Either my emotional state is triggering a hunger response or I’m desperate for energy (especially mental energy causes me to eat otherwise I get sluggish/foggy/weak, I’m not hypoglycemic either…) so I’m eating when I’m not truly truly hungry or I’m overeating because I need to have more energy to get me through a shift, or I’m guilt eating because I don’t want to waste food, or I eat because I’m bored or should because others are eating or because it’s ‘that time’ despite not being actually, ravenously hungry.

      In the past I lost weight from restricting calories (eating til satiated) and working out, and eating leaner/cleaner choices. I just can’t seem to get back into that groove. I feel somewhat out of control.

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