Is it normal to sometimes think you're jesus?

7% Normal
23 Comments

I sometimes think I'm Jesus, and I'll walk around town with a white robe and preach to people. I was in an asylum once because I tried to walk on water and nearly drowned. If it hadn't been for a good Samaritan who threw me a rope, I probably would have drowned in the river I was trying to walk across. My miracles do work sometimes which just has me wondering. Like once my neighbor was very sick, and after I healed him he felt better that night. So, I'm honestly not sure if I'm Jesus or not

Voting Results
7% Normal
Based on 41 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago | pl

    Possibilities are ranked in order

    1. You are a troll

    2. You are a fucking retarded ass christian who is deluisonal and mentally insane.

    3. You actually are jesus in his 'second coming' and christianity isnt actually bullshit like everyone who is not retarded thinks right now. And soon youll take up the 'belivers' into heaven. If you get to heaven, will you at least promise not to post on here again?

    4. The actual historic scam artist named jesus posted on is it normal from his computer in heaven just to mess with us hethens.

    Choose your answer mate!

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    • LloydAsher
      4 years ago

      I'm going to put 100 hypothetical dollars on number 1

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    • leggs91200
      4 years ago

      Move over Lloyd, I will put 100 ACTUAL dollars on number 4.

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      • Doesnormalmatter
        4 years ago

        How will we ever find out tho mate?

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    4 years ago | pl

    come to my barbecue and bring unlimited loaves & fishes

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    • RoseIsabella
      4 years ago

      I wish you were having a crawfish boil.

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
        4 years ago

        you know i never really liked crawdads

        id go for shrimp instead

        plus yallre in bluecrab country aincha?

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        • RoseIsabella
          4 years ago

          Yeah, I guess blue crabs are the thing here. This may sound oxymoronic, but shrimp are big in Houston. I really do miss the crawfish in Louisiana though!

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          • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
            4 years ago

            ive been to kentucky pig roasts and new england clambakes id highly recommend both

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            • RoseIsabella
              4 years ago

              Me, I just miss a good crawfish boil on the Gulf Coast.

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      • [Old Memory]
        4 years ago

        But consuming crawfish wasn’t part of the Mosaic Law :-(

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        • RoseIsabella
          4 years ago

          ... and you know that don't mean a thang to me, cause I'm Catholic. Now I'm craving a cheeseburger! 🍔

          In the days of Moses my ancestors where pagans. As a matter of fact I could go for some beer, and crawfish right now if I knew where to get it!

          I do abstain from meat on Fridays during Lent of course, but I'd love to find a place for a cheeseburger sometime after midnight.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    I met jesus 2 days ago on that chat to strangers web site, he was asleep.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Your own...personal...Jesus.

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  • Jattai
    4 years ago

    Not normal. Just delusional

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  • Whatintarnation
    4 years ago

    I'd be trying the water in to wine trick.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Haven't tried that one yet

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      • RoseIsabella
        4 years ago

        Well, what would be the point? You're not actually Jesus, so you can't do it anyway.

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        • LloydAsher
          4 years ago

          That's why you do a bit of magic trick to keep concentrated wine in one hand then add it when no one is looking.

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          • McBean
            4 years ago

            Y'all can make good money at weddings doing Jesus magic tricks. Trim your beard, wear sandals with a tunic and change water into wine. It gets good reviews.

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  • Boojum
    4 years ago

    Since your attempts at miracle-working succeed only some of the time, I guess you must be some sort of time-share Jesus. I wonder where the Holy Spirit flits off to when it's not with you?

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  • leggs91200
    4 years ago

    Do you wear Sandals when in Jesus mode?
    If you do, just do NOT wear socks with them, for that would be a sin.

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  • SwickDinging
    4 years ago

    This is a normal part of growing up. Nothing to worry about.

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