Is it normal to want my therapist to think i never recovered?

31% Normal

A few years ago I had a therapist who I saw weekly. I was in a really bad place at the time. I was an alcoholic, had PTSD from sexual trauma I had experienced, and one week my therapist randomly dropped me. I showed up only to be told I was no longer a client there

I'm in a much, much better place right now. I got a new therapist who is infinitely better than my old one, I've got a new job, my mental and emotional health have improved dramatically, and I've even reentered the dating scene

But I hate the idea of my ex-therapist learning I'm doing better. I want them to assume that things only got worse after they dropped me as a client. I want them to believe that my life went to absolute shit and that it's their fault for doing such a shitty thing to me. I want them to think I killed myself

Is this level of vindictive pettiness normal?

Voting Results

31% Normal

Based on 13 votes (4 yes)

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Comments ( 15 )

Palindrome_Phanatic

1 year ago

Not normal.
In fact, if you want to stick it to the inept previous therapist. Just take a selfie with your new therapist or something else that flaunts your recovery.

If you are that petty (which, no offense, by this post you are 😂) then you'd think you'd want him to know that you're doing great, no thanks to him.

What's the best revenge/way to rub something in someone's face? No... Not predetermined failure, that would only give him power, and we can all tell he's living rent-free in your head already. The key is succeeding.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  That's actually a good idea haha! I'm only petty enough to fantasize about these things though. I'm not going to do anything in real life, even if I feel like I want to
  
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  - Palindrome_Phanatic
    
    1 year ago
    
    Either way would work.
    I still think tagging him or leaving a really cute "how you got together with new therapist" story on their Google review or something would be sweet.
    
    Then again, I'm petty 😂
    
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sweetone89

1 year ago

You should call the old therapist and brag about how well you're doing, all due to the fact that he dropped you! Tell him you are thankful he dropped you because you were able to find a much better therapist. In the end, it seems he did you a favor.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  I was dropped without reason and part of me believes that's because the therapist assumed I'd turn out fine, despite suffering from suicidal depression and ongoing substance abuse issues. I swore off therapy for two years and only tried it again because someone talked me into giving it one more try before I offed myself. By a stroke of incredible luck, the next therapist I was set up with was exactly who I needed to help me progress
  
  I don't want to reward that original therapist's willingness to say "fuck you" to their clients by letting them know that, despite the fucked up way they ended our client-therapist relationship, I actually did turn out fine
  
  No, if I were to give that therapist a call, I'd have someone else speak and pose as a family member and tell them how, after I was dropped as a client, I got deep into drugs and I got horribly fucked up, like I lost my feet to excessive self-harm or something
  
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  - sweetone89
    
    1 year ago
    
    Just a thought...do you know why he dropped you? Maybe you weren't ready to be helped at the time he saw you. Or maybe your insurance no longer was accepted there?
    
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bbrown95

1 year ago

I would say not normal. Firstly, allowing this person to continue to rent space in your head now that they aren't a part of your life anymore only hurts you. Also, Cuntsiclestick has a good point that if they didn't care about you while you were a client, they very likely won't care about how you are doing now.

Also, I believe there is a saying that goes something along the lines of "the best revenge is a life well lived". So, I think it would be better to continue to improve and live the best life you possibly can (though this should be something you do anyway, not just because of another person who was a negative influence in your life).

Honestly, who cares what this person thinks? I hate to say this, but it's likely they haven't thought about you since dropping you as a client and may not even remember who you are, so it's likely they won't find out anything about your life unless you have mutual friends.

Also, did they ever give a reason for dropping you as a client? I admittedly don't know much about that business, but perhaps there's a chance it wasn't anything personal? They definitely didn't handle it professionally by waiting until you showed up for what you thought was your next appointment to tell you, but unfortunately there are a lot of people in business who mismanage things like that.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  Holding onto this hurt isn't what I want. It's unintentional and I genuinely hate feeling that way. I have OCD and I am literally incapable of letting this thought go. I'm actively working with my current therapist to learn how I can let this go even with OCD's vice grip on it
  
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  - bbrown95
    
    1 year ago
    
    That's good! I hope you are able to let it go at some point!
    
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Cuntsiclestick

1 year ago

The thing is that if they didn't care about you enough to keep you, they're probably not going to care if they're informed you're doing worse. I noticed doctors tend to get desensitized to others medical conditions, problems, and overall lives after years of dealing with people. Since you're actually doing better, don't look back on this bad moment and keep moving forward. It's not worth it to prank this old doctor.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  That's a really good point. And I've already decided I'm not going to do anything to let this old therapist know how much they hurt me because of exactly what you said--if they didn't care then they won't care now. I just didn't know if the degree of abandonment and hurt I felt was excessive, because I feel a lot of it
  
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DarkMatter

1 year ago

After reading your post, I can say that you never recovered.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  That's why I affected me so much that I'd be dropped without reason. I still had and have a lot of work to do. What that therapist did is akin to discharging a patient from the hospital while they still have a punctured lung
  
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Tinybird

1 year ago

Sounds similar to my attitude towards my bullies, I want my bullies to think I killed myself.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  1 year ago
  
  I'm sorry people bullied you. It's really not that hard of a thing to not be shitty and toxic to people. I don't understand why some struggle so hard with the simple concept of "don't hurt others"
  
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Is it normal to want my therapist to think i never recovered?