Is it normal to want to force animals to breed w each other and destroy nice things?

Alright so this has been bothering me since elementary school and I’ve never told anyone which is why I’m very anxious about it. When I was like in second grade I became interested in sexual stuff, mind you I never did anything with humans but my imagination is very big and emotional, so yeah..I don’t even want to get into that.I thought now maybe it’ll go away but I’ve noticed again that it just slightly faded. I used to play with my animal toys and let them rape each other or stuff like that and always tried catching frogs so that I could put them on top of each other and wanted them to do stuff. All of those things were major points in every play, thing I did or thought, but I never said a word and luckily mostly thought. Like i understand where my agression comes from, slightly my urge to destroy beautiful or cute things or well, anything that is too nice for my brain to take, but that shit, I dont know...I had and still have many fantasies about those things, way too many but I have learned to deal with it.
I like squishing and cutting things which annoys me. The only thing that has wound up dead except of flies was a mouse and I felt terrible afterwards but it didn’t go away.
Now, the weird part is that I’m very emotional and empathetic, I cry when a tree is being cut down and apologize to objects because I think they have feelings too and want to help everybody and espeacially flora and fauna while on the other side I feel like I mentioned. In my mind it’s worse than in written words so I may not have put it all into the right light, but I’d appreciate if anyone would share their experience with that feeling and if one normally has that, especially the breeding/ sexual part.
I feel like I shouldn’t submit it because I’ll feel very disgusted at myself if I post it but well better now than never I guess.