Is it normal to worry about stepson being a girly man

I firmly believe in rigid gender roles.His dad and me the stepgirlfriend are adamant that he HAS to be a super tough man's man and he has to like everything I like. He is a total crème puff.He is never allowed to cry or show emotion, but he does anyway.He is overemotional and dramatic like his mother who spoils him.She buys him dolls. He wants to pick things out himself like he does with his mommy.But he pick the opposite of what we like , which is my worst nightmare.

Kids should mini versions of their parents. He is a pushover and lets everyone walk on him. His father and I are very aggressive and loud.We have had stern talks and I even punished him for not being manly enough but he just runs away from us like he doesn't care. I yell my head off all the time and He just looks at me defiantly like I can be whatever I want.He never says this but I know he is thinking it.

Most of his friends are girls, and he plays with dolls and loves to make art projects with bows. I got yelled at by his mother for throwing away his art projects and banning him from making more because he uses glitter and bows and no boy colors. We also got yelled at by several parents who we thought were our friends because he was running girly at a baseball game and we berated and screamed at him loudly for it.I am losing sleep over how he plays on the playground and makes sandcastles.All the other parents think we should pick our battles. But our culture seems hell bent on making our boys into girly men.