Is he looking for something casual

25% Normal
6 Comments

For a year I have been in touch with a man. We went on 2 dates 4 years ago but I wasn't sure about it as it was very stiff. He was a serious guy and wanted something long lasting but it was difficult to connect.
A year ago he texted me that he's gotten dumped. He was open with the fact he wanted no relationship so soon after his breakup, only sex. I said it's not my thing which he said is fine we can talk as friends. After a few months he said he now has feelings for me and wants to meet to possibly start dating.

The conversation dies fast or he tries to flirt, and I'm attracted to depth and long conversations. He makes a joke of everything or interrupts to say "send me a selfie". Now that we're vaccinated he's promised to travel to me but found reasons to cancel each time. Last time it was because his friends were going to hold a small party so he couldn't see me even though we'd made plans. He doesn't text me often. Unless he's drunk.

Now i've signed up for a serious dating site and I'm paying for it, it was a bit impulsive. I afterwards confronted him and he admitted it's not worth seeing me if he's staying at a hotel without me. (I live with my mom).
We'd spend the day and evening together so he wouldn't be alone much. I feel it's weird we are supposed to meet to see how it works if we get along enough to date irl and we have to stay in a hotel for that 🤨 I've met up with others for the same purpose, some who also lived at a distance, and we did not stay in a hotel together. 🙄 I am very confused. Should I assume he's only looking for something casual still even though he says that's not the case, and move on in my dating life?

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 4 votes (1 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 6 )
  • Sanara
    2 years ago

    If he always found reason to cancel meeting, he is probably not interested. Sometimes unprepared things happen, but not all the time. Whoever he first makes plans with is generally who they should prioritize if its not an unexpected problem (not a party) that someone needs help with, or it is an extra big even like a wedding maybe. He is avoiding you or at least not taking you seriously.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      I guess so but its him whos been very eager to meet so kinda weird to be really eager then find reasons to cancel all the time like he cant agree with himself or something or if hes playing some kind of games

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Sanara
        2 years ago

        Playing games is also plausible, there are some dating advice that actually recommend that and that you intentionally need to not show much interest. Of course there will be different ways different people interpret the advice. Either way, you have to actually meet up and spend time with each other if you are to build a relationship, and I dont think you should have infinitive patience on that. Maybe tell them if they dont start actually meeting up soon you will end the dating all together

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
  • Cuntsiclestick
    2 years ago

    This dude is a train wreck. You're better off finding someone else that isn't so wishy washy.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    So this is a guy you only know from the internet? If you meet up with him be careful. Text someone the hotel number before you go in and have them call you a few hours after you get there to check on you and if you dont answer tell them that means somethings wrong they need to come check. Could even have a code word you say if somethings wrong when you pick up. Its kinda sketchy just make sure you trust your gut too dont talk yourself out of your gut feelings. Maybe this is just me turning into a boomer and starting less risky behaviors now. If youve met him irl just ignore this comment. Also expect him to attempt to fuck you that night.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Yeah ive met him twice like I said 2 dates but it was years ago. Nowadays only know him online and he seems very different from then but I dont know.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0