Is he lying/cheating?

11% Normal

so last night me and my boyfriend layed down to go to bed but usually we watch tik tok before we fall asleep. i wanted to watch mine but we watched mine the other night so it was his turn. right when we layed down and got on his tik tok he went to his messages portably to view the tik toks i sent him that he didn’t watch. i’m the only person who messages him on there because i’m the only person he knows that has an account that he follows. but there was another message and i asked who it was from, he clicked on it and very quickly clicked out and sat up and i saw him delete the text message. i asked “wtf? who is that??” and he went on to say i don’t know i don’t know blah blah blah. we went on the profile and it was some random girl who wasn’t famous and didn’t have a lot of videos but i really didn’t get a good look because he erased the profile from his messages as well. the message was about a sentence and all i thought i saw was “hey are you from LA?” and then some more stuff i didn’t get a chance to view. i’m not sure if it said that just what i thought i saw. he went on to say he doesn’t remember doing that even tho the message was sent the day before. he blamed it on his friends taking his phone when we were at his friends house the night before and they might of done that. but that doesn’t make up for the fact he was so quick to delete the message. he later went on to cry and kept saying he’s a fuck up and can’t do anything right.

i also asked him if i could see his instagram dm’s cause that would give me a lot of reassurance and he would not let me see. he said he doesn’t wanna be that couple who does that. but it’s not like i’m randomly asking, he gave me a reason for suspicion and i’m trying to get a peace of mind. THEN, he said he wanted to go “check on the dogs” to make sure they were okay, (figured he was going on instagram to delete or see his dm’s before showing me) and sure enough i saw he was active on instagram the second he walked out. then when he came back he was like “okay i’ll show you my dm’s” but he wouldn’t let me hold his phone nor see his regular messages or snapchat.

i’m just so sad and confused. he’s been extra loving since then it’s only been 12 hours but he’s been more affectionate and doing things he stopped doing probably because he thinks i’m gonna break up with him. he kept asking that too. idk
what do you think? do you think he’s telling the truth?

Voting Results

11% Normal

Based on 9 votes (1 yes)

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Comments ( 20 )

S0UNDS_WEIRD

3 years ago

Look. He cheated. I'm sorry. But he did. I'm 100% sure. You would be too if you didn't want not to know it. There's not even any room for doubt whatsoever at this point. You know that. Either walk away, or tell him that you're walking unless he spills the beans 100% and that then you'll think about it.

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- jud3IV3
  
  3 years ago
  
  I don't think he cheated, but he's definitely talking to other girls online, no doubt about that.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  why are you so certain he cheated?
  
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  - S0UNDS_WEIRD
    
    3 years ago
    
    He literally broke down crying talking about being a fuck up. He's done something that either he doesn't consider faithful or that he knows you won't consider faithful. You need to make him come clean.
    
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Mini69

3 years ago

Obviously he’s lying to you. Why else would he be so secretive and insecure about you looking on his phone!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  3 years ago
  
  he says, he doesn’t wanna be that couple that looks at each other’s phone.....
  
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  - olderdude-xx
    
    3 years ago
    
    My wife and I can log into each other's phone and various computer accounts at will. People who trust each other trust each other.
    
    There have been occasions where its been beneficial for one of us to access the other's accounts.
    
    We don't worry about various messages from different people. We both know that the other person has other friends. IF curious we can ask; and we will tell each other more about some other person.
    
    That's how it really works when there is trust and understanding.
    
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    - SwickDinging
      
      3 years ago
      
      I'm glad that you do this because my husband and I are the same and some people have tried to make out that it's an intrusion and controlling.
      
      It's really not. It's just that when you are married to, have children with, and own a house with someone else, there are actually quite a lot instances where it's really useful to get your other half to check/send an email for you. I don't really give a fuck if he wants to sit there and scroll through my messages. It would be kind of weird that he had nothing better to do but I have nothing to hide, and neither does he.
      
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    3 years ago
    
    Ugh! That's such a cliché douchebag thing to say, girl. I wouldn't trust that guy, I wouldn't trust him a bit!
    
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  - Somenormie
    
    3 years ago
    
    If he is lying/cheating then go and break up on his ass.
    
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SwickDinging

3 years ago

He's hiding things from you.

If any of what he told you was true then he wouldn't be so secretive about it all.

I would honestly end it. Regardless of what he has or hasn't done, you don't trust him. Once the trust is gone, that's it. The relationship won't make you happy.

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thepuppet

3 years ago

you're gonna have to have a talk with him

he was definitely texting girls, you can give the benefit of the doubt and say he wasn't cheating or going too far, but he's definitely guilty of doing something that he doesn't want you to see

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SmokeEverything

3 years ago

Sometimes I think my life sucks, and then I see people are going through pointless crap like this and It makes me feel better that I'm just like a fallback guy sometimes for platonic girl friends that I have and don't have regular internet access in my pocket.

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Anonymous Post Author

3 years ago

UPDATE:
he sent me a screenshot of a convo with his friend, he asked the friend if he sent the message and the friend admitted to it, saying he was drunk. idk what to think

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- GeekyGold
  
  3 years ago
  
  Ok this is gonna be long. Sorry!!
  
  So yeah, I think he’s lying. If he had nothing to hide in the first place he wouldn’t have been too quick to delete the tiktok messages and not want to show you his Instagram dms. Without a doubt he knew you wanted to see it because he made you suspicious and if he really had nothing to hide and wanted to give you reassurance, he wouldn’t have deleted them or leave to “check the dogs.”
  
  And when he cried saying he fucked up, like how? If he didn’t do anything and it was his friend who was using his tiktok, how was it him who fucked up if he apparently didn’t do anything? I think he felt scared and guilty for almost being caught and got emotional about it. And I definitely think he got a friend to lie for him. What friend would go into another friends phone to message a girl while knowing the guy is in a relationship? And why would you let your drunk friend have your phone!
  
  Now what I’m about to say next is from experience my bestie gone through with her ex. She discovered he was attempting to cheat on her. Messaging other girls and trying to meet up with them and also getting nudes of other girls from his friends. When he was caught to be messaging other girls he tried to be smart and use excuses like, she does hair cuts I wanted a new look, and use that as an excuse to talk and meet with the girl. But my bestie knew it was bullshit and got him to confess he was trying to hook up with her. Then over and over he would lie and lie and lie! More and more about the haircut girl being the only one and that it was once. But over and over my best friend caught him in lies and contradictions. He kept lying to her despite being caught numerous of times and her telling him to be honest and giving him MANY chances to come clean. He cried and said he wouldn’t do anything else and that she now knows everything he done, well that was another lie.
  
  When I read your post it reminded me of him. That lying jerk. Now he done another seriously fucked it shit but I am not gonna say anymore because it’s not entirely my business to put out but I really wanted you to see a real life example of a liar like your boyfriend. Just know one thing, you have a choice to be with him or break up. But here is an idea. Catfish his ass. Give it a few weeks first. Let him think he is in the safe zone and make a profile. Make it look real and build some followers then message him. See what happens! Or you can ask a friend you know he never met or you know he doesn’t know you know them, to message him, only someone you trust to do it and is comfortable with helping.
  
  Either way be ready for people to judge you both and pick sides. Some will say you didn’t need to be sus or break up with him (if you choose too before finding proof) and others would say yeah you were right! Just be prepared to get a lot of unwanted opinions. Anyways good luck!
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    3 years ago
    
    thank you for your thoughtful message.
    
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- RoseIsabella
  
  3 years ago
  
  Sounds like he's getting his bros to pie for him.
  
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- NotWeirdGuyFromTheSouth
  
  3 years ago
  
  LOL dont believe that. Hes talking to some girls. No way it was his friend. Ive had friends tell me to take the fall for shit too.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    3 years ago
    
    the tik tok message was sent the night before when we were at someone’s house and i feel like he wouldn’t do that with me there? what should i say to him?
    
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    - NotWeirdGuyFromTheSouth
      
      3 years ago
      
      I think theres a 99.99% chance he was texting girls. The way he tried to throw a pity party saying hes a fuck up and then leaving the room and coming back saying you can look. Dont be so easily manipulated you know that doesnt make sense. He was texting girls
      
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Is he lying/cheating?