Is his behavior normal?

I’ll preface this by saying I’m an 18 year-old high school senior who lives with their parents and is autistic but whose dad is in denial of that fact and refuses getting me resources to help with it.

My dad’s calling me immature and implying that I’m delusional because I wouldn’t let him or my mother use their automatic blood pressure cuff on me. They wanted to because I complained of chest pain, probably related to my recent endoscopy but they still wanted to check. I have sensory processing issues due to my autism so feeling my own pulse amplified and the squeezing sensations like having my blood pressure checked, being hugged, or wearing leggings, jeans, or long-sleeved shirts feels painful and horrendously overwhelming, like I’m being attacked and dug into. I wouldn’t let my mother put the cuff on me because I was terrified anticipating the pain so my dad grabbed and held down my other arm to prevent me from escaping (I was sitting on the couch). I got so scared and stressed that I cried, I just couldn’t do it.

They let me go but my dad seemed mad at me and I don’t understand why; reacting fearfully to something immensely painful isn’t unreasonable or infantile, but he thinks his experiences are universal, keeps saying it isn’t pain, only discomfort. I find it extremely arrogant, narrow-minded, and discrediting that he thinks he knows my body and feelings better than I do. I told him this and he just keeps saying I’m the one who’s wrong. It drives me nuts that I can’t convince him and he’s stuck with the distorted image in his mind that I’m an emotionally underdeveloped stubborn child when maturity wasn’t even relevant to the situation. He does this with literally every quirk or personality trait of mine and even my mother’s that he dislikes or doesn’t personally relate to or understand, it can feel like he’s gaslighting at times. Once my mother was seasick and throwing up and he told her to stop, it’s all in her head. Like what the hell?!

Before anyone asks, it isn’t like I don’t let doctors get my reading; they usually use a manually pumped up cuff that’s less painful, and around doctors I’m not embarrassed to use my coping mechanisms like flicking with my fingers or swaying my head to reduce and distract from the pain, I create output to block the input. I couldn’t do it at home with my dad in the room because he’d tease me, he always does no matter what I do.

Is it normal for him to be like this, unable to see outside his normal and realize that other people’s realities are different, to get angry and tell me I’m immature? I can’t help that I have sensory issues, I don’t like dealing with them either, it’s embarrassing and exhausting having your body force you to lose control and go into fight or flight mode when it decides it can’t handle anymore bombardment. Should I even bother talking to him about it? I’ve dealt with this treatment and worse for years. I’d appreciate if autistics answered.