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Long story short:
When someone tolds me i did something bad (im to slow to react, im too dumb or just any lectures) I tend to go into depresso and wish i knew how to make it better or how im such an idiot or even have some suicidal thoughts.
USUALLY people that lecture do not have their shit together themselves.
What you are describing -
It is not really lecturing so much as talking down to you.
Watch this video that explains the proper way to react to people chewing you out, talking shit, yelling, etc. The important part starts at 45 seconds roughly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYXxfF2k-DU
One thing you could do, it helped me once - I started clapping and singing this song -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xiwc4G8cnc
It is "cars that be bumping" by Power supply. Watch out though the bass is kind of loud.
I think he is saying "Come on buffalo boy go around the outside..."
Either that or just start making weird sounds to whatever song is stuck in your head.
You need to get those people out of your lives if you can.
They say they do not like that you have changed? Well hell with them. you have to live your own life
You are investing too much into what others think of you as opposed to investing into yourself. The way to fix this is actually to be more vulnerable, embrace your weaknesses and share them openly.
This is the first step towards a "don't give a fuck" attitude which is necessary for a truly enjoyable life.
I tried "not giving fuck anymore" but people were saying that ive changed and they dont like that.
So i stayed the sad freak.
Who is lecturing you?
I space out, when I get lectured. It's like I just don't want to be present.