Is it considered molestation if..

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28 Comments

ummm... so i used to be a part of a mixed gender sports team and one of the boys may have had a crush on me. he used to touch me a lot (arm on shoulders, swimming under me, etc). the team had a party to celebrate championships at night. he held onto my waist the whole time in the pool and kept on pinching my hips? (i'm kind of wide so i have what he called "love handles"). he kissed my cheek without telling me and said it was a prank. does this count as molesting or is this just boys being funny? i don't understand boy's humor lol...

Voting Results
26% Normal
Based on 34 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • litelander8
    2 years ago | pl

    It sounds like flirting to me.

    Clearly, if you don’t want someone touching you, you should tell them upfront.

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    • BlueAlice
      2 years ago

      And receive aggression or violence from him when told no?! Yeah. Sure. I would. Why not?

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      • litelander8
        2 years ago

        Bc someone is touching your arms they’re going to become violent when told “no”?

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        • BlueAlice
          2 years ago

          Yes, sometimes it can be as bad as that.

          Sometimes even saying "no" to a man's look can result in violence. Women have literally been murdered for turning people down.

          Think of how you'd feel if a gay guy hit on you, spoke to you or touched you.

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          • RoseIsabella
            2 years ago

            Are you in India?

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          • RoseIsabella
            2 years ago

            Where are you? Are you not in a Western country? You have the right to say no, honey!

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          • litelander8
            2 years ago

            So no one should ever say “no” to someone. That’s just ridiculous, babe.

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          • [Old Memory]
            2 years ago

            well then the OP can say no (when other people are around, like her parents) and if he gets violent then other people are there to help. simples

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            2 years ago

            ...so what do i tell him instead?

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            • BlueAlice
              2 years ago

              Say no regardless and be rude as possible. Sometimes that's the only way to keep safe

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      • a-curious-bunny
        2 years ago

        See we have this saying no means no and if someone proceeds further despite being told no you have legal protection not to me too all the people who'll step in and help you.

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  • DADNSCAL
    2 years ago

    I agree with elnell. Physical contact without your consent is harassment.

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    • RoseIsabella
      2 years ago

      Yes!

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  • ellnell
    2 years ago

    It's harrassment. It's different if you two are friends and that's how you act with each other but for him to just do that is not normal. Wouldn't call it molestation but possibly sexual harrassment, depends on how handsy he is too.

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    • YE
      2 years ago

      Isn't 'sexual harassment' strong a word in this situation? I mean, it's touching (appropriate) that advances seduction.. (unless you're insinuating that seduction = sexual harassment?) In fact, what this guy is doing is more like flirting with OP. And if he's doing the touching right (being playful, roleplaying, 'vibing', and making OP laugh all the while,) then OP writing such a post should be out of the question.

      According to me, sexual harassment is, for example, if I, (a guy) was behind a woman (I'm a stranger to,) making entry into a subway train and I intentionally touched her butt.

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      • ellnell
        2 years ago

        It is if she is not comfortable with it and clearly doesnt go along with it. You dont just go up and start touching people in the name of "flirting", then you better be prepared for a fist to the face too.

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        • YE
          2 years ago

          ellnell, it's called 'making a move' and indeed it's a high risk act on the part of men, but so is the reward (high) if things don't backfire. And there's a saying in support of this dynamic, "If you never try then you'll never know."

          Rarely will a woman willingly hold a guy's hands and place them on her person so she can be seduced. Similary, women will not ask a man they're with to kiss them. Usually, the guy has to MAKE A MOVE.

          "It is if she is not comfortable with it and clearly doesnt go along with it." Yes, I agree with this.. in part. Why 'in part? Because, it doesn't mean the guy should never try the touching with the woman ever again. On the contrary, OP might feel uncomfortable with the guy's public displays of affection, but be comfortable with the touching, the pecks and all when she's in a good mood, or, alone with the guy.

          "You dont just go up and start touching people in the name of "flirting",..." OP and the guy are no strangers, they share a social circle. There's nowhere in my previous comment I encourage 'going up and start touching' people, there has to be an agreeable context to begin with... that's part of my argument.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            2 years ago

            we aren't close, per say, and i've made it kind of obvious that i don't want to be friends with him by avoiding him... it's definitely not the proper way to make a move since i'm not into it.. and no offence, but you seem to have a closed mindset.. most girls now-a-days make the first move and don't wait for the guy to do it for them.

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            • YE
              2 years ago

              If you're or weren't close to him then make it clear in your post. And I object, I'm very much not a person with a closed mindset, where I'm from, girls almost never make the first move.

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  • BlueAlice
    2 years ago

    If by molestation you mean "sexual harrassment", yes. You didn't want it and are confused by it.

    I believe you.

    Molestation I always thought of as being when an adult molested a child but I'll need to double check the dictionary entry.

    I don't know which one you meant to be yes and which one you meant to be no OP but I believe you. I had something similar happen

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    • LloydAsher
      2 years ago

      I thought molestation is below the belt stuff but not penetration of anything.

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  • TheBlindInquisitor
    2 years ago

    Its definitely sexual harassment if you dont want him doing that.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    I wouldnt call that being molested. I usually think of molesting being an older person doing it to a younger person. It sounds like the boy was hitting on you and you're thinking too deep into it.

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    • [Old Memory]
      2 years ago

      Molesting is when anyone touches you in a way you dont like without your consent. Shes not thinking too deep. Shes not brushing aside this kind of thing because women shouldnt have to go thru with this kinda stuff in the first place. If it feels like molestation to her, then it is.

      But lets not get confused with the feminazis "Did YoU jUsT rAPe mE bY lOOkInG aT Me?" Because thats just karen and her shit

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  • Inkmaster
    2 years ago

    Yeah, that's not okay behavior. Whatever happened to flirting by holding someone's hand? That sends a clear signal and you're not committing a crime if the other person's not into it.

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  • Pilum
    2 years ago

    Molestation? That can mean many things but for what it means to most people, the answer is no. Sounds like flirting and you should make it clear he should stop it if you are not into him.

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    • BlueAlice
      2 years ago

      If that's flirting to you, then yikes

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  • Somenormie
    2 years ago

    By your definition of it no.

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