Is it just me, or are women way more picky when choosing partners?

20 Comments

30 y/o dude here, soon 31 and looking to settle down.

Tldr about my profile:
Age: 30
Gender: male
Job: IT project manager, product owner and people leader
Apartment: yes, I own a house.
Car: yes, electric company car
Savings: substantial
Debts: none
Education: M.Sc Industrial Economy
Looks: good enough
Interests: gaming, bodybuilding, cooking

Now that we have got that out of the way let’s get on topic: is it just me, or are women extremely and I mean extremely picky compared to guys when it comes to who to settle down with? (Not taking about flings here, I mean the real deal).

Now: why do I have this impression? I signed up on Hinge in October and I have had some quite noteworthy experiences. I’ll just highlight the gems:

Girl 1: rejected me on the first date for driving there instead of taking a bike or public transport. I’m seemingly an evil person who doesn’t care for the environment in her eyes, despite me driving an electric car…

Girl 2: Made it to the 5th date and even spent Christmas eve at her place. She threw me in the trash right after finding out that I don’t own a bike… come on, seriously? 2nd time I got ditched for not biking…

Girl 3: Rejected me on the first date for not being a doctor… Seriously?…

Girl 4: Rejected on the 2nd date for… not owning a dog? What the actual ***, nothing is preventing us from getting one

Girl 5: Rejected me on the 3rd date because I haven’t been in a relationship before… Come on? I was studying overseas until my mid 20’s followed by spending a couple of years focusing on my career.

The list is long, but these are the most noteworthy ones. Here I am, a decent guy looking for something serious. I see plenty of women complaining about only running into fuckbois and not being able to find someone serious. From my perspective, it seems like these women eliminate decent guys as soon as they find a flaw and blame it on the guys, but I could be wrong?

Could the grass just be greener on the other side? I would greatly appreciate some enlightening opinions from both sides. Thanks

Women are more picky 17
Both are equally picky 9
Men are more picky 1
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Comments ( 20 )
  • kikilizzo
    2 years ago | pl

    Definietely, because honestly we can be. 🤷 It goes for friendship as well, men in my experience are generally more open to adding new friends into their circle.

    There really is a the-grass-is-always-greener-mindset when it comes to dating, because it's a fact that us women usually have much more to choose from. At least straight women. When it comes to wanting to date a woman it's as hard as it is for a man to find a woman, at least if you use online dating. Men can definietely be picky too though, and it's somehow often the ones with the least to bring to the table who are... Like chubby, lazy men demanding a fit gorgeous woman, or a unemployed couch potato demanding a driven, independant woman because it's more attractive yet aren't planning on making any changes in order to be compatible with such a woman... There's always going to be those people who aim way too high, then complain when they keep ending up alone. As for women who reject a decent man for stupid reasons like the ones you mentioned, well they most likely aren't ready for commitment.
    I find that women who aren't very often search for flaws and reasons why it won't work out and then they will use whatever they can find so that they don't have to commit. Why do these women still look for commitment? Well sometimes you want to be loved but aren't ready to love someone in return... Relationships are complicated.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      Thanks for the valuable input! All my dates were in the late 20’s/early 30’s. One would expect that people around that age are generally more mature and ready for commitment. Commitment is however a big thing and one can’t set a particular age on it.

      Overall both sides have pros and cons. Ladies tend to be more picky, but guys tend to be less willing to commit. Difficulty level might be the same, but with different challenges.

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      • RoyyRogers
        2 years ago

        Woman from the age of maybe 9 get sexually harrased by all sorts of men. In fact they did studies asking woman about this. As well as its normalized for men to have a fit if a girl says no. So on top of getting tons of unsolicited offers, woman are often fearful of thier own safety. So of course they are choosey. Also men get blue balls if they get horny and can not get tail. So they are kore desperate to get tail than woman. Simce a horny girl might just be mildly annoyed.

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  • Tommythecaty
    2 years ago

    Not at all.

    There isn’t a catch all “women are like this” in reality. It instead varies drastically person to person within both sexes.

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  • Somenormie
    2 years ago

    I'm a guy who's a little picky when choosing the right person for me, but that is mostly because I have standards and so do other people.

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    • RoseIsabella
      2 years ago

      I think it's good to be picky!

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  • my_life_my_way
    2 years ago

    It’s evolutionary, men can get as many women as they want pregnant, we can only get pregnant once every nine months maximum

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    • bigbudchonger
      2 years ago

      Yes. Glad someone's got the sense to see it and say it. The burden of pregnancy has always been greater on women. It's just a fact of human biology.

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  • hauntedbysandwiches
    2 years ago

    I've never heard of anyone turning down someone for driving a car or not owning a bike. Maybe you're going for the same type.

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    • olderdude-xx
      2 years ago

      I've met a few who fall into this category if you include not driving the most efficient tiny cars on the market.

      Some people (men and woman) put a personal cause as the #1 thing they are looking for - and if you are not a demonstrated supporter of that cause... you are out.

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  • litelander8
    2 years ago

    You haven’t gone out with anyone you’ve met organically?

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  • Lusty-Argonian
    2 years ago

    Don't worry op by the time your 40 women your age will be begging for your attention especially if you continue focusing on your career. The best part is the younger ones will be interested so you can still get the last laugh. But yes women are far far more picky then men.

    I have a few mo goes myself. Felons can fuck off. Same with anyone who wants to live in California. As a gun owner I know better. Not a chance in hell. Drug abusers. I can tolerate an occasional joint but more than that I lose interest almost immediately. Fuckbois. I need an emotional connection and if you try to engage in sex right away I'm just not going to trust you. Stuff like that anyways.

    Bit others like you said say no to the dumbest shit. Don't own a bike? They are like 300 bucks for a nice comfortable one brand new. That's nothing especially someone with your presumed financial means.

    Honestly be happy you are running into these women. You are getting a first class seat into redflags qnd how to spot them. So before you know it you'll be kicking them to the curb rather than the other way around.

    I suggest watching better bachelor on YouTube I feel like you could learn alot

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  • Iambillythemenacetosociety
    2 years ago

    Wtf?

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    2 years ago

    You're looking at it the wrong way. If a girl turned you down because you didnt peddle up on your date with a bicycle like a little beta male you dodged a bullet.

    And then if you peddle up on a bicycle on the next date youll probably get turned down because you didnt have a car. 😂

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      True, man, true. 😂

      It’s like rolling a dice. Peddle up if you know the girl is an environmentalist or triathlon nerd and take the car if it’s a career woman.

      For everyone else, just take whatever’s more convenient.

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      • geek_god_101
        2 years ago

        In my mind being rejected for not having a bicycle is frivolous. A car will go a lot further than a bicycle would.

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  • Tinybird
    2 years ago

    I only like North Korean guys

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    • Somenormie
      2 years ago

      Why not South Korean?

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      • Tinybird
        2 years ago

        I have a thing for the North Korean soldiers and their goofy uniforms and their secretive country and the forbidden love aspect of it and the mystery among other factors.

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  • Sanara
    2 years ago

    Im a woman, and I think it's true (on average). It directly explains why men have more issues finding a partner or getting laid than women. If both were equally picky it would be equal.

    But I think the true difference lies in that maybe women see it more as essential (not just wanted) to actually like the person they are with IF they are to be with someone, while men see it as most important whether they get laid or find a partner at all, and would choose someone they're not that into if they "have to".

    But the reasons for rejection here just sound silly. Maybe more of an excuse than anything else

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