Is it normal....get rid of bullies

I don't see why no one ever suggests that school officials attempt to provide psychological treatment to THE BULLY. Obviously something has to be wrong in a kid's head to make them feel the need to degrade others to assure their self esteem.

Believe it or not, bullies are children too and I don't think that anything will be done about bullying until everyone acknowledges that. Empowering the victims, punishing the bully, all just treatments of symptoms rather than targeting the ailment itself which is the bully.

I am coming from the perspective of a former bully myself up until middle school. I was abused as a child and in my household, hitting and putting others down is just how it was done. I didn't even understand why I was being punished and none of my teachers ever bothered to inquire as to why I misbehaved and this is the case for many bulllies. They are often either ignored, beaten or over-indulged at home and rather than going the route of the introvert and retreating into themselves they take their anger out on the world.

Chances are, those bullies that you are experiencing fit those categories. If speaking to them like a reasonable person does not work then I would suggest reporting them. That's the best you can do until the school system realizes that punishment is not the same as a cure.

The first thing you have to do is get rid of the mentality that being a "snitch" is wrong. Why shouldn't you tell a teacher if someone's making you feel bad? Because of some ridiculous unwritten rule made up by bullies to make the kids they abuse feel more helpless?

The second thing you need to do is tell a teacher. I would suggest trying to get help for the bully as well as for the kids they bully, but you don't have that kid of power really :/

Don't fight them though. That makes you as low as them.

If I could go back to the 6xt grade where that evil bitch Casey used to bully me, I would do what I now know I should've done during the time...kick her ass. Everyday I ask myself why I didn't just do it. She made my life a living hell, and had no regret for it either. I told the teachers about it, and they never did a thing. They didn't care. They just sat back under the ignorant belief "Kids will be kids." But if I could, I would kick her ass. I would kick her ass for every bitchy thing she did and said to me and my best friend. I would kick her ass and every single girl friend that backed her up.

They teach these kids in school to tell a teacher if they're being bullied. But bullies are bad-ass little bastard kids and they don't care what the teacher can do to them. And 9 times out of 10 the teacher doesn't give a shit, either. But when they get their asses embarressed in front of a bunch of their friends by the "weak" person, things change.

I say, kick the little bastards asses, and the bully should be free to do that without consequence. Maybe after the third time of reporting the incident to the teacher, and if no change is made, then the kid has the right to fight. Case closed.

1. There are many types of bully, but a very common one is those motivated by having power over someone else... the ability to make the other person have a reaction makes them feel powerful. Often it because there are areas in their lives where they feel powerless, and may have been shown in some way that making others feel bad is an easy form of power.

2. You can deal with these kinds of bullies several ways. Most important is to not let it bother you. The opposite of love is not hate.. it's indifference.

3. So just don't react... they say something, don't say a word back, or if you have to say something, say: "this does not interest me", shrug your shoulders and ignore them. Feel free to smile at them momentarily like they just told a great joke, and then ignore them.

4. If they persist, just tell them you have better things to do, and they can move on to someone else. Never show ANY negative emotion. Showing a negative emotion encourages them.

5. Keeping the above up will make them lose interest.. why would they waste their effort if they got ZERO reaction from you. In the RARE occasion where this doesn't work, decide who the ring leader of a given bully group is, and catch him when he's alone. Tell him he needs to stop or you'll catch him alone again and that you are not afraid of him. His friends won't always be around him, and even if they beat you... someday he'll be alone, and you'll fight him.

6. Even if you think he'll win, and even if he does, it doesn't matter. The fact is that it's unlikely someone will want to fight you without witnesses or friends, and there will be a little fear in them: why would you want to fight him? It's very off putting.

NOTE: The above advice is from someone who has experienced being bullied, and has also experienced dealing with them in the above manners.

Rise above it, and also realize that it may be the bane of your life now, but later you'll hardly remember it. It's just not important.

NOTE: Some more advice on this topic that comes from a different angle and could also be helpful is another post I wrote here:

http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-to-be-rejected-by-your-own-ethnicity-in-school-135049/comment-1287256

Good luck!

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| mightymouse |
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Don't be afraid of them. They really feed off of that.

What, am I the only one thinking massacre?

Seriously though, if you do t want to tell on them just ignore them and know that they will probably be unsuccessful in life.

You can do two things. Try to solve it peacefully by talking to them in a way NeuroNeptunian explained, or you just smile. They hate that.

Do they say "nice pants, why do you wear them up to your tits?"

kick them in the balls

I pick A! Actually that will not work since the idiots are already to brain damaged to understand what not to do anymore. Trap them and implant a chip that will make the brain melt.

rub dirty knickers in their faces

1: say that if they wont stop u will beat theyr shit outta them. 2L if they start laughing kick them in their dic*/ if girl pull her hair or hit in stomack, 3: if none work get a knife. dont forget to call the bitches, trust me it doesn't work anyhow else. I know this from personal experience

In fact, If u live near me I'll gladly take care of the bully for you.

I'm not saying to fight the bullies just because it happened to work for me. Maybe I just got lucky. In high school I filled in a became a pretty big guy myself. That along with being on the wrestling team, football team and boxing gave me confidence to take a stand. To this very day if I see someone being bullied or even hear about if, I get Involvec one way or another. Good luck. Cheers.

Cont'd
I was bullied when I was younger. I've since kicked the asses of some of those bullies. One guy was a HUGE muscle bound dude who became a member of a local bike gang. He saw me years later and thought he'd still bully me in front of his biker friends. Sure I was scared but he offered me the first punch after pushing me around for a bit. I had to get one punch cuz I was gonna get my ass kicked regardless. I tried to punch him in the face but I couldnt reach and ended up punching him in the throat. He dropped to his knee and had trouble breathing. I was gonna run cus I figured he or his friends are gonna kick the living shit outa me. But I didn't run. It was now or never. So I punched and punched over and over (cuz he still couldn't catch his breath) til his biker friends pulled me off him. I thought they were gonna kick my ass but instead they laughed at this mountain of a man cus he just got beat up by little guy of 1/2 his size. One of the bikers grabbed me & whispered "get the fuck outa here. The prick deserved that". I then ran like a sonofabitch. Lol. Best day of my life! After that, nobody really messed with me much and that same guy and his buddies actually defended me in a bar one night, just by their huge presence.

When I was in school I always defended people against bullies. I can't even remember how many fights I was in. Blues are weak people who are tryin to make up for some problem they have themselves. Some are just plain assholes. Here's what you do: if you have the $$$$: find the biggest baddest dude in school and pay him (privately) to watch your back. Or volunteer as a towel washed etc for the football or wrestling team. They'll have your back. Once the bullies see that you're friends with these guys they'll change their mind about messing with you.

Ive bn there try to ignore thm and if tht doesnt work take down the biggest one outside school with there friends watching some bullys leave it when ther ignored some dnt if they choose to keep on bullying they need to know ure not a doormat gd luck x

Even though you're not a snitch (as you mentioned), you /should/ tell a trusted adult about this. If you're so (extremely) shy about it, well, there's nothing much you can do if you're not a fighter. Just ignore them.

Your options are pretty much:

1. Tell a trusted adult (teacher, parent, principal, etc.)

2. Fight (argue or physical)

3. Ignore them

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All up to you though. I'm not really good with advice (on bullying) but take my word for it. It's the best idea to tell a trusted adult about this.

ok there was a bully in 5th grade that was hitting a 4th grader and he was in my class so i pulled the bully of and said ''your bullying cause you just want freinds and you know what? you will never get any'' so the he pushed me agenst the lokers and bi--h slaped me ....painful...

The only way to get rid of bullies is to fight them! If you try to ignore them or you tell your teacher, it won't work. You have to show them that they can't push you around. Everytime they come bully you, talk back and you should challenge them into a fight. If there are many of them, challenge the one that bothers you the most. You should say something like: "Lets see tough you are without your friends" or anything to point out how pathetic he is without his friends. Even if you lose the fight, they probably will leave you alone. If don't, keep on until they do.

None of those things! Don't physically fight them, there's more of them and you'll probably lose. And especially don't bring a weapon. It can be used against you, or you can accidentally hurt someone terribly and land up in jail.

Show that you don't care what they're saying. Ask them if they haven't got anything better to do. Tell them that they're impressing no one, and that they wouldn't even bully you if they were on their own. These kids are just harassing you in a sad attempt to look 'cool' in front of their friends.

I personally say we should just put all the bullies on an island and nuke 'em, but obviously, that isn't realistic since we're saving our nukes for... well, I'm not sure what.

But seriously, you should tell a teacher that you're being bullied.

Well as I friend of many assholes in hs I can honestly say if you snitch they'll hate your guts but if you ignore and don't fight back they'll continue to do it. I would warn them tell them to knock it off or you'll tell or tell your teacher but ask they don't reveal who told. I can't speak for all hs jerks just the ones I know, but most aren't mean they are just really stupid and think its funny to poke fun.

none of the school's i've been to had any bullies. i wish i could beat some bullies asses though or verbally subdue them muahahaha

Well I don't know if this is the same as ''bullies'' cus we didn't use that word so freely as kids these days, but it depends I guess... sometimes I wished I had confronted the people like that, I kinda did once, and since i knew one of their friends that person stood up for me and made them stop. The other way I did was being passive aggressive I guess you would call it... but I figured the only sure way is to ignore it, because by getting upset youre only letting them win. unless youre good at fighting and want that sort of reputation.

You could trying to be diplomatic and fair, and try to talk to them, but they might not listen. If you just let them do it they won't stop. If you fight back it will get worse. If you try to be witty or difficult it will get worse.

If you really want to solve the problem you have to talk to someone about it. Get over the idea that your reputation is so important that telling an adult about it would be bad. What about getting an authority to "bring justice", as it were, is a bad idea? You're not weak or scared if you do that, you're SMART, and you're the better person in every way.

There is no other way to solve your problem, so don't put up silly barriers for yourself.

If they say something just comeback at them with a witty comeback and show them who's boss or just laugh at them.