Is it normal... love scene?
This is a "love" scene between two of the main characters in my latest book. I wouldn't normally post my writing on is it normal, but I figured I could use some feed back. I wanted this scene to be, for lack of better words, passionate yet not dirty because that isn't this type of book. So, if you would like, you can read it and rate it down below. Constructive criticism is welcome! :)
His hand finds its way onto my cheek, his warm palm defrosting my frozen face. He draws my mouth to his, kissing me softly, crushing his face against mine. He pulls away from me but remains close, his breath bouncing off of my tentative lips. His crystal blue eyes seem to glow in the low light of the candle, sending an electric shock throughout my entire body. His breathing is deep, as is mine, and I can feel his heart beat against my chest.
He brings his face back down to mine, kissing me once before he relaxes again. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers, his words tickling my ears. I kiss him this time, wrapping my hands around his neck, pulling him into me, tightening my grasp around him.
His hands reach for the zipper of my jumpsuit, pulling it down slowly, patiently. I reach for his belt, fumbling with it for a minute, but making quick work of removing it from his hard body. My shaky fingers reach for his zipper now, cranking it down his back until he’s wearing nothing but his undershirt.
He stops, smiles slightly, his once dark eyes warming as his face brightens. “I love you,” he says quietly, his lips hovering over mine, his hand pressed against the square of my back. “And I’m not afraid any more.” His words are relieving. To hear those words come out of his mouth, not Maverick’s, to hear him say it for himself, confirm what I once doubted, to hear him say those words is completely and utterly satisfying. His body rests on top of mine, protecting me, loving me, and I can’t help but stare at him. His chiseled jaw tightens and I can see worry in his eyes, the familiar coldness returning.
“I love you, too,” I say, tracing his jawline with my thumb. “I love you, Mason.” His face softens, his eyes heat up, and his arms hold me so close to him.
Our lips meet again, dancing across each other, moving in perfect sync with one another, as if this whole scenario has been rehearsed. Our jumpsuits sit on the floor now, one next to the other, our underclothes thrown on top.
His burning chest soothes my still damp skin, keeping me warm inside and out. His rugged body moves with mine and his hands hold me so close, leaving no space in between our two hungry bodies. “It’s always been you,” he says in between breaths, growing more tired by the minute. My lips spread into a smile, but before long my smile fades as his lips return to mine.
Our breathing grows deeper and deeper until we both begin to relax, his body resting lightly on mine, still warming me even thought it’s over.
“I love you,” he says again at a barely audible tone. I’m not sure if I was meant to hear it or if it was something that Mason had to say one more time before he toppled down next to me.
Too dirty. | 1 | |
It was okay. | 3 | |
It was good! | 6 | |
Poorly written. | 3 | |
Lacks emotion. | 2 | |
Not dirty enough. | 9 | |
It was terrible. | 3 | |
Where can I read this book? | 10 | |
Written well. | 5 | |
(Other add comment.) | 2 |