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My boyfriend goes on a vacation every year with his mom, hes 23. is it normal?
Edit: even if she pays for everything, hes jobless and lives at home with her and has to follow her rules (as in no girls in his room, dont come home late...)
I, Carmac the seer of the future, see no future for you and this loser.
What DO you see in a guy with no job, no place of his own, no drive and apparently no future?
It depends. A holiday is OK unless it is part of being an overall mama's boy, in which case your future will be 3, not 2. Mama's boys will never be true men. If it was only a holiday it would be ok but everything else is a red flag.
The fact that he is 23 and not working is a huge red flag. Living off your mum, or any woman, is another.
My dad would have kicked me out on my arse. It was work study or go to the police or army. My kids are teens and have already been told at 18 your are working and in your own place, or studying. No staying at home playing games living off the old man. The best thing his mum could do is kick him out and tell him to man up.
Sounds like this dog won't hunt. You are wasting valuable years on what sounds like a loser. Never mind no girls in his room. If my daughter one day brings such a man home he won't make it past my front gate.
Are you fit? Surely you can do better
I'm 25 n live with my mom but its cuz she locked me down to get clean off opiates.I pretty much had to voluntarily forfet my rights n pretty much got jailed at home to go threw heroin and benzo withdrawls.now I'm in the methadone clinic n lookin for a job. So my point of saying this is without her support I'd still b INA hole fuckin my life up nonstop,so I think its important to have a solid relationship wit ur mom.I was n only child so she's all I got so in my opinion it isn't weird at all to vacation with ur mom,how different is that then taking a trip with other members of ur family? Idk sorry for my ranting comment.
Thanks for the comment, and thumbs up to you for kicking those drugs! I understand that your close relationship with your mom was a large factor in you getting clean, but my problem is just slightly different. Im asking if it's normal for a mom to baby, support, and pretty much rule over her 23 year old sons life. And as for the "how different is that then taking a trip with other members of ur family" it's different in the sense that if he were to go on vacation with someone else in his family he would be going as a grown man on vacation with family, not as a 12 year old in a 23 year olds body with his mommy. And the main difference is when he comes back from vacation nothing changes, she still supports him financially and still has ridiculous rules that he must follow.
Thanks for the advice, I appreciate someone actually giving sound advice. Yes I am fit and I can do better if I wanted but I can't just leave him. The whole mamas boy was hidden from me until I was already deep in love with the guy.
You say you can't leave him, but in time you will. Sooner you later you will want to start a family, with a man that can support a family, cleave from his parents and bond to his own family, putting them first, and provide leadership and be a role model. Sounds like this oke won't cut it. The 'true love' wont fulfill life responsibilities, hence it will die. Once people can only resort to 'but I love them', then you know there is nothing more and it is doomed. You cannot list things like I really respect this and that, he is so reliable and loyal, he will be such an awesome dad because of this and that etc.
At 23 a man should be starting a career, finishing a degree, planning a future. He probably lacks a father to give him that kick in the arse he needs. He wont provide such a kick to his kids either.
The sad part will be if you stick around long enough to end up supporting him and get stuck with kids to raise alone once you realise it is best to move on. It will be harder then. Being alone is far better than being stuck with someone that sucks you dry emotionally, financially and spiritually. You sound responsible and loyal. Some better prospect will see that, especialy if you are fit LOL.
Sorry for the dud rating, but it is how i see it from what you say and the obvious red flags.
father son would be different. Ive taken my son and long 2500 km bike trips. But he was 13 then. now 14. he started long trips with dad at 9. Teaches a boy to man up and suffer hardship and discomfort, meet dad's old friends, do man things see the country and to grow up. Nothing a boy loves as much as bragging about bike trips wit dad, getting his own bike and riding in the dunes with the men etc.
Hope you make wise choices sister, not emotional ones that lead to long term disaster. Best wishes
There are a few different things here. If she is going on vacation and extends him an invitation, I see nothing wrong with accepting. If he is living in her house I see nothing wrong with her setting rules for her home and expecting him to respect them, I don't care how old he is. If he is unemployed, that is a problem with him not his mother.
I was thinking the way she was saying how the mom pays for everything, to me I would think she would pay for him if he does. ......and the way she is controling of going to his room and curfew like she wants him to herself, but I guess I am wrong,I am glad she gets to go with
He must give you good dick or you're butt ugly cause this guy sounds kinda looserish. I bet you're jealous they go on vacation without you.
It's funny you post this under the category "ageing" as in your biological time clock is running out lolz
You dick i was invited. And its under aging cause it about his age dumbass. Lolz? How old are you, a womens clock doesnt out in your early 20s.
Fuck the cockroach he's jus talking shit,I wud talk to ur bf n tell him how u feel I think its weird that his mom won't let his gf i n his room at 23 n say it makes him look strange ñ weak.if u say this to his face he shud man up n if he doesn't tell him to kick rocks.after I started putting my shit together I took classes n got certified as a welder,there's a lot a shit u can do besides going to college he can go learn a trade.I mean I still smoke chronic all day n can function more then normal so I'm sure ur bf can do it too.assuming u guys r into that considering ur username.
Yeah, that's why you better get knocked up now and more especially with someone whom has a job and doesn't live with his mommy. loly-lulz
Dude if you're going to comment on this site at least give informed advice. You're really telling this chick to get impregnated to fix her problems? Listen Weedbrownie, this guy, The CockRoach, whose probably a prepubescent little dummy, doesn't know what he's talking about. Talk to your man and see what if he has any plans to move out any time soon. As for the not working, has he always not worked or is this a recent event?
Oo ok yea I re-read the post and your response and I see where you are coming from. I took it as she is treating him like a child to keep him from growing up, but as I think about it, what parent would do that? As for the paying part I think she meant the mom pays for everything in general, not just on vacation.
Do you think they're doing physical stuff together? Or do you think she is controling him coz wants to be physical with him?I would think you would sense or see some kind of weird stuff from each other if there was
Why do you not think that kind of stuff doesn't happen? Otherwise she needs to tell him that they are exclusive and that they need to plan vacation together no matter if it's free and if mom wants that to happen than she will pay for the girlfriend to come as well or at least offer her to buy her way to join them and if she can't get the money than he doesn't go
I mean everything is possible but she didn't make it sound like the mom and son were getting physical. At least I didn't read her post that way.
As for the rest of your comment, to be honest I didn't really understand what you wrote. But by the way she commented saying she was invited to go on the vacation. I think her concern is that her boyfriends mother takes him on yearly vacations and supports him entirely, making him kinda childish.
In my opinion it's nice for a mom and son to do a yearly vacation, there is no reason why a mother shouldn't spend time and be close with her children. BUT if she is writing this post it must mean that her boyfriend won't grow up and she is worries he never will.