Is it normal for a friend to be this clingy? or aita?

20% Normal
7 Comments

How do I deal with an overly-clingy and copy-cat friend?
So I have this friend online who is really nice and he also made up characters like me. But lately I've started to find him quite annoying. 🙁 When my laptop broke he messaged my mum and said he was getting separation anxiety and was talking to her about me, and he often misinterprets things I've said or forgets them. He also has Asperger's and so do I.
But it started to really annoy me when he would copy things I said verbatim on his timeline on facebook as if he'd said it. He took up hobbies that I have and started drinking coffee just because I like it. And also I'm attracted to tornadoes and not humans, and then he started saying that he was too and commenting on posts that he was attracted to tornadoes. It's like he's trying to become me and take over my life, even trying to adopt my really weird quirks. He constantly compares me to him and talks about how similar we are. But it makes me feel unoriginal and like a copy of a person even though he's the one copying me. I also feel like he's trying to take over my stories and make them about him and although he's trying to help by giving me ideas for stories, I don't like it and I even subtly explained to him I don't like co-operating on stories.
But I don't wanna stop being friends with him or upset him because he is a kind person and we get along, and also because he's super sensitive and easily upset. So Idk what to do 🙁 What should I do? It just feels like he's taking over my life and I feel drained every time he pops up and I have to talk to him. He's one of those facebook friends who waits for you to come online and then immediately pops up and starts talking to you. Also the dude is like in his 30s. What do I do? He says that he feels depressed because we can't meet up, (oh btw for clarifcation I'm a female) and always says things like that he'll take a bullet for me and do anything for me and like I'm his little sister. But am I wrong for being annoyed and frustrated with him? Also, because of his autism I guess, I'll say something and he'll take it really literally, like I'll say I don't want people to get some idea that I want to date him or something, and then instead of not saying anything about it, he will announce on facebook "me and **** are not dating so don't say that we are", etc. UGH!!! I feel bad and like a jerk for getting so irritated by him on a daily basis. Even when I make a comment on some post he will comment about himself under mine and make it about him (I know he doesn't mean to do this but it cheeses me off)
and often we draw pictures for each other of our OCs. And I told him multiple times not to use my art of myself for references and then the other day he did anyway and admitted it even though he promised not to, and it was very obvious. So is it normal to be annoyed by a clingy, copycat friend? And how do I deal with it?

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20% Normal
Based on 5 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Ellenna
    2 years ago

    Sounds like VERY hard work to me

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  • horny_simpletons
    2 years ago

    I'm a female on the spectrum and had a very similar situation with an autistic guy, only he wanted a romantic/sexual relationship and had trouble taking "no" for an answer. I know it's hard sometimes, but you should be straightforward with him. If he's doing something that makes you uncomfortable, tell him that. If he doesn't listen then you might have to end the friendship. Good luck to you.

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  • ellnell
    2 years ago

    Sounds annoying. I would block the guy he sounds stalkerish

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    • helpermonkey2
      2 years ago

      Right on point, he knows he's making you unconformable and still doing it. Take a break from him. I'm sure you'll feel better. This could help you figure out how you want to move forward. If you do decide to cut ties, please let him know the reason and be direct. Otherwise it might trigger him to continue and also its good to be direct.

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  • [Old Memory]
    2 years ago

    That sounds like a lot to manage. I do stuff like that, but I feel like I'm being obviously reflective if I'm integrating new behavior, but people probably have thought similar things about me. I have a few keep sake musings from past experiences, like this person I knew once said "if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it" and that's really stuck with me over the past ten years. Sometimes I say it to others. Or if there's some anecdotal incident I can reference involving someone, it's usually just a sincere effort in not succumbing to anxiety or something, like not knowing what to say if not that and panic. As far as mimicry, I'll throw very subtle like, inside jokes or references. Like my current boss once called emptying a bag of cornmeal as "horse-feeding" while helping out my former boss' former store and I actually laughed pretty hard, pretty rare for me to do that. Shortly after transferring to her store, I used that word intentionally, and we had a moment of eye contact and like, a mental connection, and I feel like that helped our rapport

    I feel like these are okay decisions, but your friend seems to be doing things subconsciously as a nefarious means to end to possibly be with you. I mean you don't gotta tell me, but compare what I wrote to what you've seen of him, our actions are similar ish but there is that obvious difference there. Ask yourself if it's worth the risk. You could treat him like a customer or a stranger or whatever. You *can* talk to him without being invested. Maybe try copying him. Identify theft isn't a joke. You could copy his style and try to be like him. I bet if you're really subtle about it you would drive him nuts.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    2 years ago

    You're not a jerk or wrong for being frustrated with him. Perhaps you should tell him what you told us here? If that doesn't work, ending the friendship can put an end to it. If you choose that route, ignore anything anyone says to you about getting back with him(I say this part because I'm assuming that since he has your moms contact info, he probably has the contact info of other people you know as well).

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      2 years ago

      yes he is friends with my mum >m<

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