Is it normal for a girlfriend to turn you into a submissive bottom slut

So I was dating a girl for two years and then found out in one week she cheated on me with two other guys. We talked about it and were going to work on things. The following week she wanted to have a threesome with me and another guy.

He had a huge cock like probably nine inches and as thick as a large redbull can and then royally fucked her cumming multiple times. Me and him then double penetrated her. After a small break she suggested he fuck us both.

I wasn’t into it but she insisted. It ended up with her and I on our hands and knees next to each other. He fucked her first. Then started working
his cock into me. It hurt like hell.

Then he worked his cock into my second internal ring and was able to get all his cock in me.

At this point I became super overwhelmed. Can’t fully explain it. Like adrenaline, shame, amazement, amazing tingling shaking excited pleasure.

I was confused at first but after a few minutes there was no pain and his cock was sliding fully in and out of me with ease. I felt like my ass had melted into a slutty mess for his cock. I was moaning like a whore and slamming my ass back onto his cock. This went on for the next half hour with him royally fucking me in a variety of positions before I had a full body anal orgasm where I came all over myself without touching my cock.

A few days later she broke up with me and still fucks these guys.

I actually set up some time with that guy again and he fucked me for several hours. I felt so guilty but honestly can’t understand why I want to keep meeting with him.

I’m honestly kind of confused and hurt by it all. I miss my ex but also have this urge to keep letting men fuck me but I think it’s some shame thing and emasculation fantasy going on.

What should I do?