Is it normal for a guy to be afraid of having sex?

87% Normal
20 Comments

It's pretty much why I'm a virin because I've blown every opportunity of coming close to having sex by just saying no. I'm not shy or anything and I wouldn't say I'm insecure exactly. I feel ready (nearly). It's not fear that I think I won't be able to perform, I guess it's just being in the presence of a hot naked beautiful woman that is, don't get me wrong very attractive, but at the same time very daunting and intimidating. I don't know how else to put it. Maybe I should find a girl that I don't think is very attractive and maybe it will be easier to have sex, but I guess that won't be that fair on the girl. The anxiety isn't there when I'm around less attractive girls. Is this normal? Can other guys out there relate?

Voting Results
87% Normal
Based on 38 votes (33 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • Navilluschizo
    11 years ago

    Oh yes lad. It's totally normal. I was inside of my wife when I technically "lost my virginity"...I went in and out twice because I lost my boner out of sex anxiety because she was incredibly hot and i started crying.. It was awkward. I was afraid my sex appeal wouldn't be attractive enough. Now we have sex pretty often.. Except she just gave birth so now I have to wait six weeks before we can kanoodle again.. But seriously, CHILL OUT and sexy time the hotties. Sexing the uglies will only put a bigger damper on your ego. Just think of it as a porno (or whatever you're into) and you're the star of the show and enjoy yourself. It's more about you anyways right? Unless you're looking to marry the chick..Don't let you're brain ruin you're Johnson's fun!

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    You could try closing your eyes.

    People often have sex in the dark when there is confidence issues give it a try.

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  • MiserableMartin
    9 years ago

    I've had 4 chances to lose my virginity but could not was too afraid and anxious.
    It really sucks I dunno if I ever will be able to. Im 47. Its a shameful thing to live with.

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  • question1522
    11 years ago

    put a blind fold on and let her handel every thing else

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  • Sailor_Cosmos
    11 years ago

    You sound like you are just insecure with yourself and lack self confidence. Women are just people like you. Stop giving them God-like status and realize that they are human just like you. They get sick, they use the bathroom, they have problems just like you do. There is no reason to fear another human being.

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    • scrount
      11 years ago

      I guess it's easier when you think like that, but looks can be deceiving to some people and make us think they're actually better than just "another human being" and can get whatever they want because they're so attractive and use it to their advantage (women do more than men), but I guess they're still just human beings. Their insides are the same. They probably have dirty habits. They eat. They shit. Personalities differ, but our emotions are more similar. At this point, I'm not finding love, and if I do find it, I honesty don't think it will come later on in life until I'm about 40, and I don't want to wait to have sex then. Although sex isn't a must for me now, I don't want to have it just to lose my virginity and get rid of the label, I just want it for enjoyment and hopefully "face my fear" if I decided to have sex with an attractive girl, so it won't be so bad the second time round, if not I'll just settle for an average looking girl to begin with. She doesn't need to be hot. Just not ugly.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Ready? What guy needs to be ready, you just fuck the first chance you get. It's not like you'll have a sore vagina is it?

    Seriously, guys these days have been emasculated by the effects of the "snag" fad.

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    • scrount
      11 years ago

      I mean like, even though I have my doubts, I feel more confident about having sex and that makes me feel ready I guess. Nothing to do with believing in a fad.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        I just ment that the whole "guys have feelings" about sex is news to me.

        I lost my virginity in highschool and I wasn't nervous at all, didn't even think about how I felt. A girl said lets have sex, so we did.

        I wasn't worried about it being good as I was a virgin so I knew it would be shit. I always saw it as "getting it out of the way".

        I can see why It might be a big deal for women, but not for men. Kids are soooo scared of sex these days, my little brother is a bit like you describe yourself.

        I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you, it just seems so common these days compared to a decade ago.

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        • scrount
          11 years ago

          Fair enough. I guess it depends how confident you are with women which you clearly are. Something I need to improve.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            I wasn't confident at all really, I just didn't care. It's very different.

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            • scrount
              11 years ago

              But you weren't insecure like I am about it, you just probably thought "fuck it, it's only sex, and I'll lose my virginity". I guess you're right that it technically wasn't confidence but at least it still got you laid.

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        • Sailor_Cosmos
          11 years ago

          Believe it or not MEN HAVE FEELINGS TOO! And not all men just want to fuck some random to "get it out of the way". Almost every guy I have ever known who has lost it that way says they wish it had been with a girlfriend since it would have been that much better to be with a girl who would actually want to make your first time good and give you the kind of effort a random will not, and that they would have tried harder and given more effort to a girl they would have cared about making the experience that much more memorable. And there are guys out there who want it to be that way. It is silly to assume that guys don't have feelings towards sex and that is should come as a big surprise.

          Its also really stupid to think that sex is a huge deal for women. I know of several woman who cold heartedly fuck the way some guys do.

          Time to let go of the gender stereotypes dudes, it just sounds so ignorant, backward and old fashioned to categorize men in women in such a way.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            First loves never work out so it's not important who it is.

            "Its also really stupid to think that sex is a huge deal for women"

            It's a "bigger" deal when it comes to virginity, you'd have to be retarded to say it isn't.

            You sound really young.

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  • sYki
    11 years ago

    Does it have something to do with how guys are made feel guilty for being sexually attracted to the physically attractive part of a woman by women and like less of a man by other men or gay when you consider personality of physically attractive women? "all men are pigs, driven by sex" "Women are people to, they're not just sex objects""She's hot, why don't you just fuck her, your not a fag are you?"

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    • Sailor_Cosmos
      11 years ago

      It probably does have something to do with all the mixed signals society sends us, especially men.

      Seems to me that this guys has just given women in general god-like status and is insecure about himself. He is a young guy and its normal to feel intimidated by the opposite sex, but he needs to do something about the insecurity and get over it. Some men never do and end up being 40 year old virgins.

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      • sYki
        11 years ago

        Lol you again!

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        • Sailor_Cosmos
          11 years ago

          I am everywhere lol! ;)

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          • sYki
            11 years ago

            Hey! Check this out, you may find it interesting!
            A-Hor 's reply is good to.

            http://isitnormal.com/story/i-hate-the-male-gender-and-im-ashamed-to-be-a-part-of-it-145055/

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