Is it normal for a relationship with an introvert to be very difficult?

4 Comments

Hi guys. Is it normal for a relationship with an introvert to be a bit hard? I'm a girl who's an extrovert, but it's just really hard for me to understand when they go MIA for days at a time, or go off & do things by themselves & never invite me. For ex. they will text me but then go days at a time w/out asking to see me & act normal.

Understandably, I like guys who can comfort in stressful situations. However, the very cool nature of these guys was hard (ex. low emotional intimacy, affection). Not sure if this is something I need on my part, incapability or just their nature.

The guys never showed much affection, said I love you, hugged me etc., got gifts, would just send a goodnight text, but they thought that was normal?

Maybe I just need an extrovert? But how do introverts manage this?

Thanks so much!

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Comments ( 4 )
  • Contrivance
    2 years ago

    I don't think this is an introvert/extrovert thing. But incompatibility like you said

    For instance, I'm a mostly-introverted guy. Yet with my exes... I showed a lot of affection, terms of endearment, gifts etc. And it also felt great to comfort them. But if I wasn't seriously into a girl... I might act similar to the guys you describe. But keep in mind I'm also not a "typical guy" (if such a thing even exists), since I'm happily in touch with my feminine side

    The part about going MIA... some more context/detail might be helpful. Because it's normal, and even recommended, to have _some_ hobbies or interests that dont involve your significant other. Also a partner shouldn't feel obligated to report everywhere they're going and everything they're doing. But random, long radio silences are probably iffy since a SO should still be kept in the loop. Fine line

    A couple of my exes who I was crazy about, I occasionally still went through random 2-3 days of no contact. Few rare times even a week if I got too invested in work or consumed by something stressful. And it wasn't a red flag or anything. Ebbs and flows like that felt normal and organic for both of us.

    Ultimately, it's good to curb oneself to have realistic expectations. But sometimes standards are ingrained deep and hard to change and there's nothing wrong with that. It just means you're incompatible

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  • SwickDinging
    2 years ago

    If he's told you he's introverted and regularly goes out of contact from you for days at a time then he's probably using the label as an excuse to be a shitty partner.

    Find someone who you are compatible with. Don't waste time second guessing someone.

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    • Tommythecaty
      2 years ago

      Hey shut the fuck up you, you’re going to get us all busted!

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  • ellnell
    2 years ago

    That's not normal. As an introvert I would NEVER go MIA on my partner, exclude them from things or not check up on them. That's awful behaviour no matter the reason. My ex was very introverted, he was the type who didn't need anyone and even only communicated with friends online sometimes rather than having to see them but he commited entirely to our relationship, that's where he put his social energy. We were together nearly everyday the two of us but sometimes one of us did need to withdraw, that's normal for introverts but you have to talk about it.

    You need to communicate with this guy and set some ultimatums. It's possible he genuienly doesn't get that how he's acting is rude even if one would think most people would understand that instinctively.

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