Is it normal for boyfriends to start sweet then completely stop effort?

15 Comments

Boyfriend in start of dating was incredible I'm talking initiating dates, museums, dinner. Being genuinely sweet/kind, & emotional and interested. Holding me when I was crying and giving advice & compliments, never been treated like this before. Calling me beautiful, intelligent/sexy, helping me etc. Genuinely liked me, starting a connection etc. as I got to know him. Very cuddly on the couch, couldn't get our hands off each other.

Then one month late later, getting too busy in projects to do anything. Never showing same emotions or affection level again. Stopped touching me, stopped showing same emotions etc. Never held my hand again. Would just sit there with me for hours while he worked. Never gave a single compliment ever again in next 6 months. Ever. Would just kiss me once each night while I left & that's it. We would show up, very platonic, go clothes shopping or something, then that's it. Never cuddled me, never really touched/held me at home etc. We'd hang out & he insisted he liked me. Never initiated a date or trip ever again in the next 6 months, besides eating food/hang at his house. He went on a few trips with his friends. He never planned a trip/date for me. He started initiating affection at end a few times but it was awkward for me. Then said he was confused when I brought it up that I felt alone/unloved.

We recently broke up because it made me so insecure.

I know relationships drop off after honeymoon but is it normally like this?

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Comments ( 15 )
  • SkullsNRoses
    3 years ago

    He was pretending for the first month then the act got tiring to keep up. I’m glad to see you dumped him, you shouldn’t have to beg your boyfriend to act like a boyfriend. I hope you find a man who treats you properly.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Thank you so much. This made me feel so much better, I really appreciate this <3 thank u

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      • SkullsNRoses
        3 years ago

        Glad to help.

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  • SwickDinging
    3 years ago

    It's often like this, yes, but that's because most relationships you get into aren't right. Eventually you find one where you're both really into it for the long-term.

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  • Unknown_player
    3 years ago

    Maybe the timing was off or he could even be questioning his sexuality it sounds more like his problem than yours honey just go find yourself someone who's as affectionate and as serious as you are

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  • Tommythecaty
    3 years ago

    Wasn’t worth it I guess...

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  • LloydAsher
    3 years ago

    Ever thought of doing something idk simple? Hiking and biking sure that's fun for you. How about dinner somewhere or just watching movies on a couch with a good dinner. If he is intrested in his projects and that's why he rejects the dates think about a date that doesnt involve him leaving the house for prolonged periods of time.

    Just my two cents on the issue.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      Damn....yeah. Shoulda done that. That’s actually all we did the last 2 months, I just didn’t realize. Thanks, this was a really good example. Damn, I feel absolutely horrible now!! wish I could get him back & realize...

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      • LloydAsher
        3 years ago

        Yeah I didnt want to seem like a dick about that oversight. Guys are simple creatures. He works on the projects to keep the rent paid and stuff. Hes working hard for you.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    3 years ago

    That sucks!!!! That’s truly awful. I’m going to end my next one sooner if it looks to be like this.

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    • Mini69
      3 years ago

      Good for you. What you have to remember is men have their real brain and a secondary one kept in their pants. The secondary one is only interested in one thing and will go to any length to get it. It is also more dominant that the brain in his head. In other words he may start out as a really decent bloke, but once the penis brain takes over it’s like a whole different person.

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      • olderdude-xx
        3 years ago

        This is not true of all men. Unfortunately, it is true of a lot of men.

        There are men out there that are interested in a lady based on their interest and activities. They also like sex, and tend to be more selective on who they have it with. They also tend to make great long term partners, and husbands too.

        I encourage the post author to find one of those.

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        • Mini69
          3 years ago

          Agreed I shouldn’t over generalise, there are some decent men out there. The problem is finding out who they are.

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  • Mini69
    3 years ago

    Were you having sex?

    If the answer is yes perhaps that was all he wanted and once he had notched you up on his bedpost he was ready to move on to his next conquest, just keeping you around for a bit of nooky when he couldn’t find it somewhere else.

    If the answer is no that is probably the problem. Most men are not interested in a girlfriend that doesn’t want to have sex.

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  • my_life_my_way
    3 years ago

    Try some kinky sex stuff to get him interested again.

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