Is it normal for halal meat to drive one to vegetarianism?

When given any meat I can't eat it, whether it's halal, kosher or not, because all the meat is treated cruelly. I'm not even sure about halal vegetarian, but I'm pretty sure it's the vegetables being killed and not the animals. I was told to act like a Buddhist and eat the meat given to me but I can't eat it. I'm not even sure about cheese but I like the taste of a ploughman's lunch. The fact that the death is slow and painful has put me off meat altogether. There's a simple explanation for this: all meat is treated cruelly, not just the halal meat, that's why Muslims are cruel to the animals. Without watching Pat Condell on YouTube I wouldn't care if the meat was halal, I would've just eaten it. I didn't even care if it wasn't halal or kosher, it shouldn't be a problem, but it's a problem, the Jews slit the cow's (or any other animal's) throat, which would hurt if it happened to me, I didn't care, now I care and meat has become a problem. If only I had the simple solution of a Buddhist and just ate it. I never saw an animal being slaughtered but it sounds cruel, and I always disapproved of an old man eating meat all the time, I think he should eat what's vegetarian. Sure, I can eat fish and fish eggs (and vegetarians don't approve of fish eggs), I'm amoral, I'd do anything for luxury. There's some gourmet vegetarian on the market, even gourmet vegetarian recipes, but I don't eat eggs (except fish roe), I don't eat dairy (unless I'm having a ploughman's lunch), I don't understand what's wrong with halal vegetables, it doesn't make sense! It's all crazy, but I'm a Mu'tazilite who follows a rational Islam, I don't have to eat food according to any dietary laws, the vegetarianism is my choice. I don't like how the calves are taken away from their mothers to produce the milk, is any of this normal?