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I said it's not normal and it hurts me when he does that and he says everyone does it and told me to suck it up and grow up
Regardless of it being normal or not. He should respect the fact that it upsets you and keep his thoughts to himself.
If you was my hoe then my eyes they only fall upon you. A nigga ain't got time for playing games, that's what children do
Why are you with this guy? What do you see in him that makes him worth your time, and attention? Is not being alone so important to you that you are okay being with someone who disrespects you? How would he react if you started doing the same thing to him?
I'm sure it's normal for the average person. It's up to you whether you deserve above-average.
It's perfectly normal for guys in a relationship to find other women sexually attractive, but a emotionally mature guy who respects his partner and cares about her feelings will keep such thoughts to himself. So your boyfriend is wrong when he tries to justify his behaviour by claiming 'everyone does it'. (That's never a reasonable excuse for anything.)
Also, a decent, respectful guy would never tell a woman he claims to love to 'suck it up and grow up' when she tells him that she finds something he does hurtful. He may well find her complaint silly, unjustified or completely irrational, but he would understand that being in a relationship requires both people to modify their behaviour to some degree, he would try to understand why she was unhappy about whatever he was doing and he'd either modify his behaviour or break up in the hope of finding someone else who will accept that behaviour.
A guy who does what your boyfriend does is either an immature, inconsiderate, disrespectful jerk, or he's a manipulative asshat who enjoys making you feel insecure about yourself, his true feelings for you and the future of your relationship. I suspect the best thing you could do would be to dump him and go find another guy who will treat you better, but you could attempt to educate him by starting to make comments about the attractiveness of guys you see.
Thanks for the advice. I just dumped him.
Yeah I feel like it is really disrespectful and immature. After I broke up with him, he was even saying his whole family think I'm crazy for dumping him over that because it's normal for guys to do that in a relationship. I actually got a text from his brother saying I'm a loser for dumping him over something all guys do and he said "good luck finding any man who won't call other women hot"
Now his entire family hate me. I don't understand any of this, this was the worst way to break up.. I have an entire family that are thinking I'm overreacting and calling me crazy.🙁
Try to always remember that such judgements of you have no objective reality, and they only have power over you if you allow them to. There are plenty of facts in the world and some things are undeniably true or false, but opinions are just a bunch of neurons firing in a pattern in someone's head and they only form a particular pattern because of all the random shit that's happened in the person's life up to that point.
In this case, the most significant random shit appears to have been that your ex was born into a family of idiots. Being hated by idiots is actually a badge you should wear proudly.
The fact that the whole family seems to have gone ballistic over your decision suggests a couple of things. First, it may be that they realise on some level that their attitude to such matters is abnormal and just generally messed up, and they deal with that by calling anyone who disagrees with them crazy. Also, the fact that they reacted as they did pretty clearly suggests that they thought you were something special. If you weren't, why should they care if you dumped the dweeb?
Ignore the texts, learn what you can from the experience and move forward.
It’s not the most respectful thing for him to say.
But that certainly IS a crazy thing to dump somebody over lol 😂 haha
I don't think so..he really hurt me when he told me to suck it up. We were picking up food at a restaurant recently and after he left he said the woman who gave him the food was really hot, that hurts me and he just said I need to grow up. He never calls me hot.. he calls me cute.
Good for you. I agree with almost all of what Boojum says; with a slightly different.
We are all sexual human beings and it is normal for use to react to an awesome physical specimen that shows up in our lives. However, as you mature you realize that those are not the most common.
With that being said... Every now and then my wife will see my eyes linger and she will even verbally acknowledge that the lady is "hot" or "looks good." Likewise, every now and then her eyes will linger and I'll say he's in great shape. We both smile at these moments. It does not mean we don't love each other or care. We are human and understand that we both will notice and react to the right person.
We have found that its a lot easier on both of us to be honest with all kinds of things - and neither of us are offended by that.
The other reality is that beyond physical appearance - both of us focus on how they think and their values before considering anyone as a friend.
My advice: Find someone who only notices the exceptional, and allow him some flexibility on that when it occurs. Ask for the same in return.