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I broke up with this guy more than 5 years ago and have been married to someone else for more than a year. My mom was close with my ex and even had him over a few times shortly after we broke up. He treated me very, very badly, I'd say even abusive (verbally.) I just saw that she friended him on Facebook and I'm pissed off.
You're mom is not taking your best interrest at heart which is a shame. I have a 19 year old son and if the chick hurts him, I hate her probably more than he does. That's how mom's should react, whatever hurts your child, hurts the parent 10x more. Show her this comment.
Ask yourself this: Do you still have feelings for him? If so is it affecting your marriage? If it is fine, id try to get over it. it may not be easy, but you will feel better for it. Its natural to feel jealous when an ex is with a frend or family member. I would try not letting it get to you, or else it can strain your marriage and/or your relationship with your mom. I would at least talk to him and get him to stop treating you like shit.