Is it normal he demanded to see my privates

15% Normal

Well to begin with. This might be a little private. but i need to know if this is considered normal. I was over at my recent boyfriend's and were getting ready to go out to a doctors appt he had. Everything was normal. UNTIL. before i opened the door, he shut it. I turned around. He gave me that look. I knew that look I knew what it would lead to. Before i could react he began to inch closer, standing over me, dominating. normally i would respond but i got this sixth sense and backed away. He says let me kiss your lips. so i kissed him a peck. then he gives a devilish grin and says "not those lips"

from then on the interchange of words was a mix of coyly flirting but nonetheless makikng it clear; refusing to allow him to give me head. i just wasnt in the mood. but he kept on insisting that it began to REALLY not make me in the mood. But he would not take no for an answer. He then says "well at least show me your *%$#@, let me see it." What? No i dont want to, come on lets go." Is this a normal request?

Then he lashes out LET ME SEE IT!! i saw the look in his eyes it was a look of sexual rage and frustration that i was saying no. Eventually i gave in because that was the only way he would leave me alone. So there we were. He laid me out on top of the coffee table in the living room pinned me down and licked me out. I remember looking at the ceiling blankly and wanting to run away all the while it was happening. Is it normal i felt raped?
After he seemed satisfied and his anger seemed to have subsided

But was his reaction normal? Hes older (27) than me (22) and more experienced and im new to relationships so i dont know how "boyfriends and girflriends act". Do you readily show your private parts to each other? Do you spontaneously just demand to see it? and get upset if your partner doesnt give in?

From those reading this and from your experience, what do you make of this guy? Is his behavior normal?

My instinct tells me to not be with this kind of guy if he is aggressive (he has also shown subtle but firm red flags)
but theres another voice telling me to grow up and not be so shy about my sexuality and explore it..etc.

Help! Im so confused:(

Voting Results

15% Normal

Based on 99 votes (15 yes)

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Comments ( 37 )

mountain-man82

9 years ago | pl

That is not normal behaviour at all. Those are some serious red flags and you should leave that relationship as soon as possible.

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Bobblahblah

9 years ago

If he wants to see a c##t, he should just look in the mirror.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  lol i shouldve said that then!
  
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Jeaneathean

9 years ago

In my opinion you need to be rid of him as soon as you possibly can.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I havent seen him in two days, ive ignored all his calls texts. even one text read "ANSWER ME!!" so clearly hes not taking it well that i stopped talking to him
  
  something else happened that was the last straw
  
  Thanks guys, IIN for all your support, really:)
  
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  - Riddler
    
    9 years ago
    
    No it is not normal. He sounds like an Asshole. You should have called the cops on his ass. The fact he was starting to get violent and sexually pushy shows that he is a bad guy. You should A.leave him and B.Report this if it ever happens again. I am not sure if this would fall under domestic abuse but he should not be getting violent.
    
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iEatZombies_

9 years ago

Seriously, run. Leave and don't come back. He -will- hurt you, it's a matter of when, not if. Go get a guy you can feel good with.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I wanted to! You have no idea how humiliating that was.
  
  When it was over we were driving on the freeway,He was talking normally as if nothing happened; I was quiet the whole time and looking out the window, all the while felt a tingling sensation all over my face like when your face begins to go into crying mode, but i held back
  
  I honestly just want to be alone right now. No guys to come close to even touch me or hurt me. I just want to be alone
  
  except for online you guys are the best support I have:)
  
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pixie_dust

9 years ago

u went to the trouble of making this post bcuz u r thinking about him, right? well, now that u have an overwhelming respinse by almost everybody that this guy is a predator/bad news, then run, dont walk. I would even tell all of this to police. its best for it to b documented so if u wind up murdered/missing/etc then they have a clue. or even if u never talk to him again, then itll b documented for in the future if he's suspected of such a thing, ur experience could be a vital part of a puzzle of a future woman he rapes/violates/etc. at least talk to ur friends about it so the record is there if anything happens.

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handsignals

9 years ago

Thanks OP :( I was hoping this was going to be a war story.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  lol:)
  
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Lamronba

9 years ago

Learn self defense.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  You know thats something thats been heavy weighing on my mind.
  
  Hes grabbed my arm and wouldnt let go before. I notice that if i resist he grabs harder. So i let my arm loose not resist then he eventually loosens his grip.
  
  but still. i mean, comparing us both im a petite girl and hes a body builder frame guy, soo..
  
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  - Lamronba
    
    9 years ago
    
    I know some women like abusive relationships but do you really want this to continue? He sounds like the kind of guy who threatens to kill you if you leave him.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      well its not quite a relationship yet.or how can i say, its in its infancy.
      
      my issue is that im inexperienced in relationships and what people call a "sex life" and being naked around others, so i didnt know how to decide whats normal whats not. whats a red flag whats not. him
      
      Im 22 and ive only had sex with two guys including this guy, who we shall call the asshole. lol
      the first guy kinda doesnt count because he was my high school sweet heart, we were just kids and had no idea what we were doing
      
      anyway fuck him
      
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      - derpyderp
        
        9 years ago
        
        Pro tip: If you're uncomfortable, & he knows that but carries on regardless, it's not normal
        
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      - delling
        
        9 years ago
        
        Read up on abuse. There's literally no expert on the subject that would call that anything else. "Angry touching" is a pop psychology euphemism I've heard a lot before.
        
        Sometimes they can be quick to use loaded terms like "abuse," but why not err on the side of caution? Why stay in a relationship where you have to ask these questions at all? You're young, you can afford to be picky.
        
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Haddaway

9 years ago

What is love?!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Its not something ive ever experienced before, so i cant define it to recognize it, i dont know what love is, but one things for sure, i am definetly not falling in love with someone who forces oral sex on me
  
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- Bobblahblah
  
  9 years ago
  
  Love is knowing when to stfu.
  
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- derpyderp
  
  9 years ago
  
  Baby don't hurt me
  
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- handsignals
  
  9 years ago
  
  ":)
  
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- RoseIsabella
  
  9 years ago
  
  I dunno, but it ain't all that crazy objectification.
  
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germanshepherd

7 years ago

You were raped

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IMissMary

7 years ago

Lets make this simple.

Leave while you can and before you get pregnant.

No its not normal, Yes he has a problem, No you can't fix him, Yes you will regret it if you stay, Yes he will probably try to stalk you

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delling

9 years ago

That sounds like rape to me. I'm not one of those Tumblr feminists who thinks a girl should sign a waiver every time, but once you've said no, pushing the issue is getting into rape territory, and if he's using anger or threats to coerce you, then he's already crossed that line in every sense of the term.

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life_kills_mee

9 years ago

hes a perv, don't be with him if he creeps you out

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thr

9 years ago

Sounds like you're mixing things up. Being intimate and doing sexual things don't have to be linked with aggressive behaviour.
So if you want to grow up and explore your sexuality, you should find someone who is nice and who respects your boundaries, to do it with.

His behaviour is not okay, and you shouldn't put up with it.

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IIN2?uestionlife

9 years ago

Ever seen the movie 'enough'?? Please dont let it turn into that leave while you can before you have to breake your way out. And more importantly learn from this. Hope all ends well.

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Shoefish

9 years ago

He sounds like my ex. Please leave him.

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LizardSkin

9 years ago

If this is your boyfriend it was a bad choice. Sometimes assholes are clever enough to disguise themselves. The situation you described is not one of love or even care. Pure objectification.

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VirgilManly

9 years ago

I'd advise you to stay away from this guy. His behavior could escalate and become worse.

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dinz

9 years ago

Use reverse psychology on his ass and wait till a really cold day and demand that you want to see his genitals.

On a side note, why must you "present" yourself on command? It is your body.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  hi. well, heres the issue with that reverse psyhology thing. hes ALWAYS ready for sex or any form of it, including exposing himself
  
  and it backfired that evening
  
  in the middle of interchanging words, i said "well why dont YOU show me your.." to which he readily and quickly pulled down his pants, then immediately shot back with "i did it, now its YOUR turn. you made me do it, so now you do it"
  
  it was an intense, awkard, sexual tension and pressure situation that to get out of it i just...:/
  
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  - delling
    
    9 years ago
    
    If girls were as eager to do that as guys are, I would probably have seen a vagina in real life at least once by now.
    
    He's basically using his own penis to blackmail you.
    
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69

9 years ago

im confused. . . are we to fap to that or give sincere replies?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  whats fap?
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal he demanded to see my privates