Is it normal i always feel like i want to die for this reason?

why do have bad english?
I don't get why your dad would even be little you or degrade you for wanting to study(anything). He should be grateful that he has a son who wants to learn and go to school and succeed in life.

Most parents these days complain because they have kids who don't achieve anything and still live at home when they are 30 years old.
Myself, and my best friends we all live in our own houses or apartments away from our parents, how ever we are very close to our family still.

It is abnormal that any parent would kick a child out for wanting to learn and study.
Usually it is the other way around in America when i see asian or indian parents, they beat their kids to force them to study and do better in school. I witnessed many times this happening.

Your dad has serious issues.
My dad kicked me out for not finishing college and smoking pot.
The rest of my siblings have graduated college all went to universities. my youngest sibling is graduating this June from UC San Diego.

Even though I didn't finish college, I am now a single mom.
I have the support of my entire family.
I have been blessed to have them by my side through this difficult time in life.

Sometimes I also feel like I am nothing and I have no reason to live. My reason is different than yours. My reason is because I did not finish college and achieve my goals in life. I did not make my parents happy. I made them unhappy and that makes me very unhappy because I want to make them proud. Not sad and crying for me as they are now.
I might have also been more successful in life had it not been for me taking care of my little sister for 6 years financially and physically when she was in elementary school.
I would have all this money to finish college. I took the bullet at age 15-21 to care for her so that she could be successful in life. Today, my sister is my proudest achievement in life. She graduates in June from UC San Diego with bachelor degree.

When I get depressed, I call her and tell her how I feel. She always tells me I did her the biggest favor of everyone in life. She also tells me how grateful she is that I took the bullet and blame for all her games and bs when we were kids.

I suffered the most in my family because I took the blame for everyone, fed my brother and sister, took care of my sister physically and financially. Today I am here alive breathing. Single mom, but proud. I hope also that my second achievement in life will be that my daughter grows up to be twice as successful as my little sister is today.

Point is don't be so hard on yourself. Your young. You will grow old. Never regret studying because studying will only take you farther in life. It will never pull you back in life. If someone or something is pulling you back or down in life, you have to learn to suck it up, take the bullet and ignore it, and move on with life.

You too will learn, maybe just as I have have learned(the hard way)...you will also learn to be strong,stand up proud and tall.

PS: last year my brother has taught me this: If someone if giving you shit in life, ignore them because they are waste of your time. Why worry when all worrying does is pull you down?

I don't think this is normal at all.
I'm almost 30 and I still feel like a kid, although my health isn't as good.
Sometimes I think about how short life will be and that I don't have time to fuck around, which can be disappointing.
My Grandma's still alive and well and she is 90. There's a long way to go.

This is really sweet and sad. I have the same feelings about my family, even though it's me, my siblings, and my mom.
I am in the middle, 18 years old with my older brothers and sister being 27, 23, 21, and 19, and my younger brother and sister being 15 and 13, and my mother is 42.
I also have 13 nieces and nephews that I definitely don't want to see grow up. I want them to be cute and young and innocent forever. But my oldest niece now has a boyfriend, my older sister has a son, my younger sister is preparing for college, two of my brothers are getting married, one already has a wife, and the youngest will start high school in a year. I don't want to see them mature, but I am also happy for them and the lives they're creating. I'm happy my mother has her dream house, my brothers all have their lives ahead of them, and my sisters are preparing for their new lives as mothers and wives.
It may be hard to watch, but it sure is gratifying in the end.

you will make them so happy

nice