Is it normal i don't know where to go next with an unreliable friend?

67% Normal
6 Comments

I arranged to pay a friend to put the stereo from my previous car into my replacement car. We arranged a time & place but he'd double booked himself and had to come back to do it, but then after a couple of hours he couldn't get the stereo to work and said he'd get me a second hand one in the next couple of days.

That was two and a half weeks ago and I still have no radio or music in my car. He seems to be going through some sort of crisis but is able to do work for other people and to socialise. He's apologised but doesn't get back to me as promised to arrange another time.

I haven't paid him by the way, the deal was to wait until we knew how much the secondhand stereo would cost.

I'm trying very hard not to get annoyed and impatient with him but it's starting to bug me a bit. He's a very supportive person himself, that's how I first met him when I was upset about something and he didn't even know me or what I was upset about, so I feel I should be as supportive of him as I can.

Any suggestions on how I can sensitively but assertively deal with this?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 12 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Just have someone else do it.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Can't afford anyone else that's why I asked him. Thanks anyway. I guess I could kindly ask him if it would take the pressure off if someone else did it and can he recommend anyone who'd do it at the same price?

      Thanks, that got my brain working and came up with something I hadn't thought of!

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  • Steve_2
    8 years ago

    How about you go to the world of common sense and ditch your unrealiable friend?

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      That would be a totally unreasonable over-reaction: I'm not perfect and I don't expect my friends to be either and I would never dump a friend just because he's stressed and therefore uncharacteristically unreliable at the moment.

      Do you have any friends yourself? I'd reckon not if you'd treat them as you've suggested I treat one of mine

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  • pizzabrowniesushi
    8 years ago

    please be patient and use your cell phone as a stereo until he can help.Maybe send a really goofy card too. I lost friends when my mom was dying.Because I couldn't come around as much.It really really hurt that people couldn't be more understanding.

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    • Ellenna
      8 years ago

      Nup, I've been very patient and understanding but have now given up accepting excuses for his lies and unreliability and general bullshit: eg he's lost his mobile so doesn't get text messages but he can receive them from other people and reply; suggests I contact him via facebook but just laughs when I ask what his surname is so I can do so and so on and so on and so on .......

      I thought he was a mate but who needs that sort of mate? No-one has died: I'm told he's going through a bad time after a breakup with his "crazy ex": beginning to wonder if he drove her crazy himself with unfulfilled promises and commitments and general unreliability.

      I'm now planning a garage sale over easter to get enough $ to pay a reliable professional: this will teach me to trust so-called "mates"

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