Is it normal i feel like i'm turning into a monster
Long Story that might make your eyes glaze over:
From the age I started school, I was picked out straight away by all the other students, who for the next 12 years would be bullies, as "different". Primary school was terrible, I was punching and kicking anyone who teased me. It was the only way I could deal with these people. Secondary School was worse, with multiple suspension every year from Year Eight onward. I had the impulse to lash out and hurt the people who were hurting me.
After school, I lost all of my money through false friends and debts, and I fell further into depression.
During my final school year, I got a Grievous Bodily Harm charge downgraded after I cleaned up an British dickhead who was teasing me while I was grieving my Grandfather's death, with a huge shifting spanner. Still got convicted.
During the years since, I've had violent thoughts, murdering nightmares and anxiety attacks. After seeing a psychiatrist, he assured me it was part of Asperger's Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder.
After I found out I was even MORE different, the drug use began. And hasn't ended. These days I feel like I've moulded myself into a monster from holding onto emotions and powerfully woeful memories of school, and the years of false friends, drug use and debts afterward. Am I becoming a monster?
| No | 5 | |
| Yes | 7 | |
| Maybe, but time's wounds all heal | 6 | |
| Yes, You Have PTSD | 10 | |
| Yes, You're Crazy. Padded Cell for You! | 10 | |
| No, it's rational from time-to-time | 6 |