Is it normal i haven’t shown my bf of almost a year my boobs?
Okay let’s just cut to the chase, i have an alright figure i’m 5’2 and like 106lbs, my boobs are 32B so pretty small, but my nipples are large and they are puffy. The overall shape of my boob is kinda cone shape but not really, it’s just an ugly shape, they aren’t round. So because my nipples are puffy AND my breast are cone-ish shaped it makes them even more protruding. Like if i don’t wear a bra you can see the outline of my puffy ass nipples perfectly. I basically have puffy pepperoni nips. When my nips are hard they look small and perky tho, but unfortunately my nips don’t get hard from being turned on.
I’m 19 now and have had 3 long term serious relationships with a couple random hook ups in between. Each of the 3 relationships lasted more then a year almost 2 years. None of them have seen my boobs before, not even my current boyfriend that I live with has seen them.
I normally tell them i’m just insecure about them and they drop it at that, most don’t try to “find out” why i’m insecure I guess, so normally they’d let me keep a shirt on or bra without complaint. Or they’d ask but id just say no each time, some have BEGGED to see them honestly but nothing will make me budge and it feels like I never will. I’m gonna die and no one will have seen my boobs
:(
My current boyfriend tells me he thinks they are “sexy” and stuff to try to make me feel better even though he’s never actually seen them bare before, he just says all that cause he knows i’m insecure about them so of course he’ll try to make me feel better you know? but it’s almost like the compliments make it worse cause it feels like pitty. I tell him how I feel and he swears he’s being genuine but I just can’t believe it, ugh i have a cry lump in my throat writing this.
I wanna show him them so badly I just can’t bring myself too, it’s been years of hiding myself I feel like i’ll literally never show them and it’s like I’m okay with that but i’m also not. I’m just so conflicted with myself over something that feels so stupid but to me it’s really affected my life in a negative way. I don’t even wear certain swimsuits or dresses that you can’t wear a bra with.
He’ll ask during sex to suck on them and i’ll want to but I always panic and stop him before my nipple comes out my bra, I feel horrible because I love him so deeply, he treats me so good and I just wanna be able to show my body to him without wanting to crawl into a hole.
I keep going to social medias like reddit and now here to come to people for advice over it but no matter what people say I still haven’t been able to overcome this insecurity of mine.
So, has anyone else experienced this?? is this normal??