Is it normal i like a woman who works under me?

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6 Comments

We are the same age. She's been giving me signals that she might like me too. Only... I'm her manager and our company has a strict no dating policy on situations like these. To make matters worse: both of us have long contracts with this company. And neither of us are planning to quit any time soon.

So my questions are:

1) Is it normal for me to feel this way and still want to pursue her?

2) How do I go about pursuing her without making her feel like I'm "abusing my power" or some shit? (She can report me and I'd be totally screwed. She can even report me for asking her out: because that is against the rules. I know her as a nice woman but she can also be feisty and outspoken. What if I guessed wrong, and she's not that into me? What if she interprets my advances as sexual harassment? That could be terrible for me.) How do I keep it professional and not give the others the idea that I'm giving this woman preferential treatment?

I don't want either of us to lose our jobs over this. I don't want every gossip at the office to be talking about me and my private life. I don't want to build up a reputation of being "that guy" who dates his female employees. I don't know...

Help? please.

Voting Results
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Based on 4 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • 1WeirdGuy
    1 year ago

    Get to know her values. Bring up some feminist shit and see if she bites the bait. If shes a femininazi stay away she will ruin your life.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      Thank you man! So I'm cool to go if she doesn't? Should I try this smoothly like first inviting over everyone to a casual dinner? And then asking her out when we're already in a more relaxed setting? Or invite her to spend time off work as friends first? Or can I be more bold?

      I don't want to give her the impression I want to only be her friend, and then get friendzoned... So if I move too cautiously, that might give her the wrong impression. That's why I thought it would be better to just be direct and ask her out already. Without putting up the farce of first asking everyone at the department out for dinner, and then posing the question to her there.

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      • 1WeirdGuy
        1 year ago

        Theres two types of women. Theres wife material and theres one night stand material. The ones that are one night stand material are the dangerous ones. You need to determine what kind of woman she is before you make a move.

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  • Tommythecaty
    1 year ago

    You ain’t managing my store if you can’t figure that out yourself 🤣

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      1 year ago

      Yeah I'm not very high up on the ladder. Partly why I'm so unsure of this. I don't want to lose a good career opportunity over some woman, no matter how hot she looks. I've never dated coworkers before. Never really felt a need to. But there's something about this woman... I know I could just let it go and look elsewhere. That would be the safest choice.

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  • Ummitsstillme
    1 year ago

    Of course it is normal for adults to be attracted to eachother in the workplace.

    "neither of us are planning to quit any time soon."

    Just keep it casual, oftentimes female coworkers have zero interest in their superiors or otherwise, they're just working and friendliness can be mistaken as flirtation.

    Be sure you're willing to risk your career, and potentially hers as well. If you are undoudbtedly possible soul mates? Fuck with it. But if you are not gettitng vibes from a lot of other women, leave it alone.

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