Is it normal i'm going #disgracedjapanesebusinessman myself

I had to come up with a stupid title so the thread doesn't get deleted.

So, I'm a Dude in my thirties, I just got out of an abussive 8 year long relationship, I've got a kid I can't see, I got no job, car, friends, qualifications and I'm slowly paying off debts.

I've got a cognitive deficit from drug and alcohol abuse, there's simple shit I just can't do, like maths or drive a manual car.

I suffer from anxiety really bad, it causes me to fuck shit up, people don't care they just think I'm a lazy, stupid fuck head, maybe their right.

By the way I live in Australia, they don't prescribe Xanax and valium because of all the assholes that die mixing it with alcohol, that basically means if you suffer acute anxiety you can either drink or suffer.
I got 10 visits with a Shrink, told her how I did child porn when I was 4, got neglected by mum, can't sleep properly because of chronic nightmares ect. she didn't seem to give a fuck, in fact she used to forget half the shit I told her and she lost my file with my notes in it so I used to have to go over the same shit with her.

In Australia, on average, 1 man does it every day.

I don't won't to live like this, to tired to keep trying.....