Is it normal i'm terrified of independent living?

61% Normal
5 Comments

I'm a 29 year old male, I have an illicit drug addiction which I have struggled to overcome for the best part of 8 years. Due to the expenses of affording this habit, I have never been in a good financial position. I still live with my parents, I have a good relationship with them (they know of the addiction) they charge me board money but it's not alot. Other than that, they cover all living expenses.

Because I have lived at home for so long this way, I have become dependent on them. I tried moving out once, but that ended when I became bitter enemies with my housemate. (She was nice to my face but secretly bitching about me to everyone behind my back) That experience has scarred me. I have just applied for a rental with 2 of my friends and I'm scared that living in close proximity a similar thing may occur, our friendships deteriorate. I have alot of faults, the main ones being lazy and unorganized with bad money management. I am worried that I will let them down by not being able to afford the costs of living.

Also, I feel this quite immature feeling of needing the love of my parents in my daily life. They always listen to me and help me while my friends (although good people) are generally apathetic and indifferent. I have seen a vast array of counsellors and psychiatrists but I do not get any gain from the experience.

I feel guilt and shame almost daily about the way I am living at my age. I feel like a manchild, a failure and a burden. These things don't spur me into action though, they only make me depressed which compounds the problem.
If you're still reading this, thank you. Sorry it's so long.

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 38 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • SummerTime_Sadness
    10 years ago

    It's normal to fear such things. I myself have felt your fear, but at the same time , I looked forward to taking control of my own life. It's a step that everyone must take, but you must take it on your own. Being independent comes from our own selves. Before you can do that you need to get the problem at the root. For now, you should focus on your addiction. If you have the will, you can do anything, but the other part of the battle is one that requires help from a professional. Not all doctors are created equal, so its not strange to have to seek help from different professionals. It's not impossible to do things by yourself, its just harder. Its never too late change, and you can make sure of that. First you have to imagine it, then remember it, then go for it. Everybody has a point in their life where they've been the lowest ever, but they lift themselves up either by themselves or with the help of others, and sometimes things don't always go as planned, so sometimes we have to literally fight for what we want, or else we'll never get it.

    -Take Care

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you for your empathy and your advice.

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  • tarikaybartugu
    10 years ago

    I've been in the same situation. After your age, its kind of impossible to be independent. I think you should look into upping the dose and wait your parents out. Are you the only heritor???

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  • DeAmOn
    10 years ago

    When you've kicked your habit then maybe consider moving out. Untill then stay with ur parents. The only reason they haven't kicked u out yet is because they know you won't survive on ur own out there. They love u. But seriously...kick that habit,ultimately it comes down to one choice to make.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Yeah. I feel so discouraged because I've been literally trying to quit for the last 7 years. Failing over and over again has left my confidence at overcoming it so dangerously low.
      But thank you for your comment and your advice.

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