Is it normal i've apparently made some enemies here?

This is so strange, I literally could have written this. I feel the *exact* same way. Luckily, I've somehow managed to dodge the abusive comments and everything like that, but I see where you're coming from. I tend to suppress parts of myself here, because I feel like certain parts of my personality just don't fit in or belong here, and only people in real life will get those parts of me (because they get and accept it). So when I push myself and try to be more open, getting criticised for that would hurt. I don't like it when people act like they're above that and that everyone else should be. It does hurt, especially when you've made yourself vulnerable.

I sometimes feel like this isn't the best place to turn to for support. It's not uncommon for the OP to get criticism as well, or to be turned into a joke. Most of us do it at some point, none of us are always nice. I do feel like some things make people targets, and if you talk about certain things, regardless of how personal it was for you do talk about, you'll get abuse for it anyway.

I don't know who you are OP, but I like users like you. It's just a shame that users like you get abuse. I hope it stops for you, because you should be able to be yourself here.:)

dont take any notice of the thumbs down if you can, you can say as you please (unless its cruelty to animals or children then i will thumb you down) i dont look at the name i look at the comment first, i dont think i am alone in this regard, keep opening up, be brave against the slings and arrows :)

Welcome to the club. I'm sure the validity of your comments shine through your posts in a way that those worth seeing it, truly do see it. As well as being visible to those who need to see it.

If you're genuine, honest and frank, you will have enemies.
Don't dedicate any time here to please people. If you want respect and you ARE genuine and intelligent, the people who are worth your respect will give you theirs.

Oh man, that really sucks and it's surprising. :o

You are not a person that I would have thought could have any enemies here: you have legendary awesomeness. You give rational insightful advice that people need to read, especially sex-advice. I may not have ever said so before but your one of my favourite users here - it bugs me that you've been made to feel this way.

Maybe everyone goes through this though because there seems to be a story like this every few weeks. I understand how you feel, I experienced something similar a few months back. It was horrible; not only was I harassed, I also found out that there were people spreading nasty lies about me. Back then, I was going through some heavy shit in my real life, so being ostracised on my favourite website was just another turd in the shit-bucket and I ended up quitting IIN for a while. Yeah, it's "just the internet" but we are all still *real* people in a social community and when you get treated like dirt by people in that community it kind of hurts.

Luckily, there were several terrific people that stuck by me during that crappy time and convinced me to come back--to ignore the haters. They were right and I'm glad I took their advice. You should too: Ignore the haters, Shade; there are people here who think you're pretty freakin' snazzy.
I'm one of them. :D

Hang in there.

Of those who experience the cruelties man can summon, there are two groups who experience it most often: The cruel and the foolish.

So belong to neither; be as gentle as a dove and as shrewd as a snake. Don't make yourself a target when you stand to gain nothing.

^It's a philosophy I've ascribed to all my life and it's been successful so far :)

Also- Men have died for saying the wrong thing. If you want to see someone heading for trouble, look for someone who's not guarding their words carefully.

I recently made a submission that was a well deserved apology, and it was denied. I have put years of work into trolling here as well as giving many doses of reality as needed.

I am through with this site. I am currently deleting every post I have ever made and every comment (all 56 pages of them) and this is the last comment you will ever see me make on here.... Good luck all. -badmanalive

Well, you already know my feelings on this because we've talked about it but I sent someone an email yesterday where I talked about how much I admired their openness regarding a difficult subject. I talked about how much I admired a certain site user for similar openness. I was, of course, talking about you.

I try to be open too and I've come to actually expect to be attacked. At first, I thought "Why am I being attacked?" Later, I dismantled people either by logic, aggression, or wit. Now, I don't give an airborne intercourse. I tend to be nicest to the people who attack me. It leaves them nowhere to go.

However, that's just me and I feel very differently about people being mean to you. Not just because I do genuinely like you very much but because you, for me, are one of the few people doing "the right thing". I know it's easier not to make yourself a target, but that's just selfishness.

Being open about something allows someone else to be open about the same thing rather than be afraid and feel alone. That is what the site is for. It says it right up there in the quote on the homepage. It's not for trolling, it's not for snarking at each other, it's not for keeping ourselves hidden, it's not even for socialising. It's for sharing difficult things in the hope that at least some good comes from it and someone is helped.

The vast majority of people don't use the site in the "right" way or are selfish in their use of the site (using it for personal entertainment, for instance, and giving nothing back). I'm fine with that. I'm NOT fine with people like you being attacked for doing the right thing. I want this to be an environment where more people feel they can be as brave as you are, not fewer.

Again, I know we've talked about it in private and you know how angry I am on your behalf but perhaps this is an opportunity to tell others how angry this makes me. I might come across as a nice guy but that doesn't mean I don't have a sharp tongue. I think you're pretty popular here and I'm sure many other site users would also want to show support. Just keep being yourself.

At the risk of echoing everyone else:
I've always liked you, Shady; you're one of my favourites. We agree on most things, and even when we disagree you keep our disagreements classy. You're a smart person and a good person. IIN needs more people like you.

I think a lot of people here have times when they go through this feeling. There are some genuinely bad people here, but I honestly believe the good people here outnumber them 100:1. The comments on this story prove that.

I haven't seen many of yu comments, but i haven't seen you acting like a jerk. I know exactly how you feel. Yeah it sucks but all I can say is that it is just the Internet and in a year, you probably wont care. Another person on this page said that trolls are cowards. Thats true, do you think they would say that to your face?

The fact is this site isn't a one way street. You have the freedom and anonymity to post what you want, and this can mean you admit to or question things you'd never do so offline. But people responding have equal freedom - they can be as honest or dishonest as they like, as positive or negative as they like. That's the nature of this and many other websites.

So it's naive of you to expect all people to be on best behaviour. You throw something personal out into a crowd of random people you should always expect that some of those people aren't of a kind or generous or understanding disposition. That's not to say you should avoid expressing some secrets about yourself here, just that you should be better prepared for the odd unpleasant character.

But judging by the response on this story you don't have much to worry about. There are clearly plenty of kind and empathetic people here. Try and pay more attention to them and don't let negativity overwhelm you :)

There are people who are mean just to seek some attention. But you should not see only that. There are lot of users who are very friendly and smart. I hope I have not been of the asshole bunch because I know that sometimes I can be one. If so I apologise

There are people who use this site specifically to hurt other people just because they are unhappy with themselves. It's sad. Don't let it affect you and don't let it keep you from being yourself here. I've been through a lot worse here than what you just described only because one person didn't like me for no reason. But aside from that, there are people here who are in fact supportive and are willing to help others.

I think people dislike me too but I know I'm very different from the status quo.

It seems to me that you have many more friends than enemies :) The others are probably just jealous. Hopefully I've never said anything insulting to you. If i have, i apologize... I can misread people at times and likewise i don't think people always get me. Anyhow, you are one of my favorites.

I have certainly noticed anonymous posters being attacked and belittled. I don't like that kind of behavior. It has happened to me, but not on any posts that were too serious. It's as if the anonymous poster is a target for bullies. People seem to think of them as "fresh meat" :/

Don't take it personally. I get thumbs down too sometimes. I don't think it means they don't like you, they just disagree with your answer.

I've done nothing but be nice, except when I strongly disagree with something (usually the kind of things any normal people would disagree with). But some people don't like me. One told me to go to hell, one said I deserved to be sexually assaulted, and one defended some bitch from Tumblr I complained about because she insulted and publicly embarassed me. Oh well, it's their problem. As long as I know I did nothing wrong I shouldn't worry.

I have been nasty and attacking in the past. I am not at all proud of it. Infact for the last few weeks I have been trying to understand that it is I who has the inadequacies and not the human being I have attacked.
I admit the problem and am working toward learning from it and being a better person.

I always get beat down but I will always stand tall and help people where I can.

Hope you feel better OP and if i have ever said anything to offend you i apologise.

It's really a shame. I've made stories where I was really wanting people's opinions and I was made into a joke. Me being called a child and "How did this get through moderation?" Negative comments thumbed all the way up while the nice and even helpful comments stayed at the bottom. It upset me at first, but I learned to not care so much. There are good people on this sight and at least one is bound to say something productive and respectful.

Sometimes members I admire can say mean things, but there's only so much commenters can say based off a short snippet of what the OP has said. There's much room for misinterpreting someone's situation, we can only write so much without it becoming a novel. ;)

One of my stories I asked something about not getting up to do anything all day and I was attacked for being a lazy asshole who lives off her parents when in reality I've lived on my own and have had a job since I was 16 , full time for the most part. I left just one detail out and all goes to hell. Lol.

I'm not going to censor myself, at least try not to. I've been doing a pretty good job at it lately and whenever I get a negative response I just laugh if off. It's freeing being able to say and be who you truly are, it's worth a few insults because there are just as many people who appreciate your honestly. (Even if you can't see it.) People are more likely to go out of their way to complain about something than praise something. Same as in off the Internet life.

True , is that you? I'm sorry honey

Just wanted to say I don't dislike you :p

Wow!
It looks like you've discovered the true nature of this site.

You've outlined the behaviour of this community better than I could have done so myself.
Many people here are just assholes.

It is interesting none of your enemies have had the balls to speak up in this thread.

I have had disagreements with you, (mostly as an annonymous OP) but I hardly find you unlikeable.

I will now thumb everyone else down and you up, making you on average the most valued member of IIN. I invite all users to do the same.

You people are pathetic, it's just a fucking website, chill the fuck out

everyone on is it normal are asshoes. We all have opinions. We are all fucked

You're actually one of my favorite people here ;)

I'm mostly disliked on here by many.

Maybe if you didn't have such a confrontational attitude people would like you better.

Don't worry I still luff you <3

Upward facing thumbs for EVERYONE in this thread :D <3